How great is your mind?

“Great minds discuss ideas; 

Average minds discuss events; 

Small minds discuss people.” 

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Need some ideas to talk about? 

How about a list of questions to ask when you're with your friends and family?

• What inspires you to be your best?
• What do you do to get over disappointment?
• What makes you feel successful?
• If you could give the world a gift, what would it be?
• Have you learned tools to manage anger? What are they?
• Is there something you thought was impossible but then you accomplished it? What would you share with someone else who's struggling?
• What is the last book you read and what did you love about it? Was there an idea that you would challenge? 
• What is your favorite quote, and why?
• Name one or two of the kindest things people have done for you.
• What gives your life meaning?

 Expand your great mind!
(Please leave a comment below to add to the list.)

Love,

Aunt Laya 

What do you REALLY want?

This is a most basic of questions. Ask yourself, "What do I want?"

There's a catchy phrase that says, "You've got to name it to claim it."

If you don't know where you're going, then you're wandering aimlessly. If you know where you want to go, then you can make a plan to get there. If you know what you want, then you can make a plan of action. A plan of action is as simple as putting one foot in front of the other. It can be as simple as noticing, "I'm hungry," as a start. Then you have to decide what you want to eat. A sandwich? What kind? What do I need to do to prepare it? Sound simple? It is a simple process but we are usually so busy with the small stuff that we haven't learned how to listen to the inner voice whispers your heart's desires. Do you remember the first time you cooked something "all by yourself?" It's a big accomplishment when a young kid cooks for the first time. If you're in new territory, go easy on yourself. Each step you take is a big accomplishment!

Now transfer that understanding to what's next in your life. Take one small goal that would mean a lot to you and break it down into small action steps. Don't try to do it all at once.

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time!

Small steps add up in big ways.

Goals don't have to be big, out-in-the-world things. Reading a book is one page at a time. Writing a book is also one page at a time. Filling in your photo album is one page at a time (or just gathering all you photos in to one place might be a start).

Sometimes it's hard to get to what you really want and talking things through with someone you trust is helpful. No one said you have to do this alone!

The idea here is: be honest with yourself about what you want. Dig deep. You're worth the effort. Then, take one step in that direction. Then, take another step.

You can do this! One small thing, right now... go!

Love,
Aunt Laya

The Power to Create Happy Relationships!!!

I learned something interesting. It's something I've heard before in different ways and I've heard it enough times now that I understand its importance and know it's something that needs to be passed on to others. This is the balance of 5:1:

For every one negative thing that happens in a relationship (criticism, harsh look, reprimand, etc.) it takes FIVE positive actions to balance it.

What that means to us in real life is that for every unpleasant thing we experience or do in our relationship, we need FIVE kind or loving acts to balance the scale.

Do you get what that means? This is very empowering for us all!!! Now that we know this (which has been studied through observations of many relationships) we can heal and direct our relationships for the good.

Being aware of this will improve any relationship. Parents, kids, employees, students, friends.

Experiment of the day:
Talk to the people you live with and set up this experiment: Put out two little dishes for each person. Fill one dish with pennies or marbles, doesn't matter, any small object will do. For each compliment or kind act move one object into the second dish. For every criticism remove five. The goal is to (as naturally as you can) fill up the second dish and keep it full.

Keep shining.
Love,
Aunt Laya

Thank you to southernfried at Morguefile.com for the perfect photo!

Simple Chages for Powerful Results or What You Can Learn from Your Dog

It's amazing how powerful simplicity can be. When I was active in martial arts I found that even the black belts all still use (and drill with) the simplest basics that the newest white belts are taught. It's always about doing the basics and we keep building in mastery. Here's one of the most powerful tools we have: speech. The way we use the gift of speech in our daily lives will make a huge difference in success in all areas of our lives. Here are my tips for making talk more positive and life enhancing.

Tip #1
Use positive words when ever you can. "Not good" instead of "bad" puts the focus on "good". Our minds and spirits hear the words and take in what we hear and say. We don't always hear things the way they're meant. If we're using positive words it reminds us where to focus. You'll never hear a negative word from a dog.

Tip #2
Delete Sarcasm.
Sarcasm comes from the Greek words that mean "to tear flesh". Yikes! We'd never hurt someone like that but with so much humor based on sarcasm, we can forget how much a sarcastic remark can sting and hurt. Dogs are always sincere.

Tip #3
No Gossip.
Gossip hurts three people, the speaker, the listener, and the person being talked about. If this one is hard here’s some food for thought: What you say about someone else really reveals more about the kind of person you are! If you listen to gossip about someone, you gotta wonder how that person talks about you. Getting out of listening to gossip can feel kind of sensitive since you don’t want to come off “holier than thou” but it’s well worth the effort. Here are a few “tips within tips” to get out of listening to gossip:
~change the subject, redirect the conversation
~be direct and honest and respectfully tell the other person that you also won't listen if someone wants to talk to you about him or her
~say there's something wrong with the phone connection and that you'll call them back (now you have time to think about how to redirect the conversation)
know that your reputation as trustworthy will rise
once people know that you're not into gossip, they'll stop coming to you with it
Dogs never, ever gossip about anything, ever.

Tip #4
Same rules apply about yourself.
Remember the old “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? It’s still true and it’s also true about your own precious (as in valuable gem!) self. Dogs never put themselves down.

Tip #5
A kind word goes a long way.
Everyone needs to feel validated. What ever you like to hear is probably what other people like to hear too. A sincere compliment can go a long way. Gratitude is always good to express. Words of encouragement are always well received. Okay, well, dogs can't do this, but they wish they could!




Some cultures teach that you have a certain number of words you can use in your life time and that's it. It's meant to teach that we need to choose our words with care and purpose.



Experiment with this one and see what happens.



Love,
Aunt Laya

Photo credit: Avital (c) 2006