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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

When life doesn’t work the way you want…

When life doesn’t work the way you want…

Guess what? Your world reflects exactly what you need to GROW. It’s the Master Plan. Are people too crabby around you? Maybe you needed a reminder to be nicer. Or maybe you need to be able to set boundaries. Or, could it be that you need to change where you go or the people you hang out with? Maybe you’re tired of me saying this already but here goes: There’s no one right answer.

Life is a puzzle, and it’s up to you to put the pieces of YOUR puzzle together. Sometimes other people can help you out with suggestions that are right on and work for you. Ultimately though, it’s up to you to make the pieces of the puzzle fit together. Guess what else? Sometimes there is more than one kind of puzzle. Lots of times there is more than one way to solve a puzzle. I play a game on the internet called Quiddler ( When I check the previous day’s puzzle solution, it isn’t usually the way I solved it—if I solved it at all! Sometimes I play Spider Solitaire on the computer. If I can’t finish a game, I start it over and play the same set of cards differently. Most of the time, I can win by doing things differently. If I am researching something online and don’t get the answer I want, I put different key words into my browser until I find the answer I’m looking for.

Which reminds me: The definition of “insanity” is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. If something in your life isn’t working, try doing things differently.

Exercise for the day: Go to one of my favorite game sites and play a game that makes your brain stretch in new ways. has a game called “Set” (plus others) and has a game called, well, Blokus. Then have a look at some place in your life that you’d like different results and try something different.

Come visit me again! I have more to say on this another time.
Aunt Laya

Sunday, June 04, 2006

My magic wand’s not working!

Got pain?

There’s not an easy answer for how to deal with pain. It’s one of those times when I wish my magic wand would work the way I want so I could make everything okay. But since it doesn’t maybe I can help you look for ways to navigate the waters of this challenge. This isn’t all there is to it, but it’s a place to start.

First lesson:
If you’re alive, you get pain. It’s simply the way this world is wired. And there’s nothing anyone of us can do to change it.

Second lesson:
It WILL pass! It will pass. This too shall pass. Keep the faith, it really will pass. Keep reading.

Third lesson:
Use pain to grow (grow emotionally, in health, mentally, spiritually). Life’s not easy; it’s not meant to be. You really can use what’s happening as a spring board to move you forward. (You know, like when you jump off a diving board: You take a running start and jump in!) When you are going through something painful in life, it’s a time to tap into your personal power, connect when you need to, make changes where you need to, and heal (which takes time and tender loving care). Our pain teaches us; it has value.

Fourth lesson:
Where you are is not where you’ll wind up. Sometimes life puts you “on trial.” You are tested, molded, sharpened, and polished. When you feel low it might be hard to remember... but things will change and you will grow. You will come through this and life will cycle into joyful times. You don’t have to rush this part. Sometimes you can make a choice about the way you see things to make changes. Sometimes there are things that just need to be grieved. It’s different for every situation, so there’s no formula, but if you give yourself the time and set up the support you need for any situation, things will change for you.

Fifth lesson:
Take care of yourself. Love yourself enough to nurture yourself and accept the love that the people who care about you have to give. Healing is being in touch with the place inside that hurts and allowing love and comfort in to that place.

Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about a situation that’s causing you pain—it might all be outside of you. On the other hand, most of the time there are things you can do about the way you deal with the situation, even if they seem small at first. One thing is to change the way you think about things. When you change the way you think about things, it changes the way you feel about things. Sometimes you can DO something different to change the way you feel or think (sometimes called “fake it ‘til you make it”). And you can also change what you DO about any situation. You can change your attitude and if need be, you can change your address. Or you can grieve if you need to grieve. It depends on the kind of pain and the source of it. You have to decide what fits for you and when.
Sometimes, it’s more about how you are with yourself than what you do. No matter what, be kind to yourself (and be kind to others). Ask for help when you need to. It’s okay to ask for help.
Remember, you are not alone.

Aunt Laya