Sexually Active--choices, (not just for teens)

This is a PostSecret postcard from Sunday, April 3, 2011

How many people wish they could go back in time and tell themselves something? Lots of people would do things differently if they could go back in time, while others have no regrets since their past choices got them to where they are today. 

Here's the piece that some people don't get (yet): You may not get to go back in time to change things, but just because the past is what it is, does not mean you are stuck in that past right now.  You have the power of choice to create the you of right now. 

You can change your mind. 

You can change your attitude.

You can change your clothes.

You can change your goals.

You may redefine what is important to you in any moment.

You are a living, breathing being and your opportunity to blossom into the best  you is fresh with each breath. Ready? Set? Be true to you! (Even if it means surprising people. Even if it means surprising yourself.) 

Change means stepping out of what is familiar. That's OK, you are not alone. You can change and change again. Experiment with saying "no" when you mean "no" and see what happens inside over time.

I practice what I preach and this week I deepened my commitment to pay attention to the way I speak (or hopefully don't speak: no gossip). 

There is true power in self restraint (that serves you in positive ways).

Pick some thing in your life that you wish you could change. Be true and honest because no one else is in on this. Then take the risk of doing something simple, especially if it's hard for you to think of doing. Take heart. You CAN do this. 

Love,

Aunt Laya

The Secret to Staying Positive

Write your questions, then post them where you'll see them!

Your brain is a brilliant resource! The trick is to engage your brain in a way that will give you the results you want! Like if you want to be happy you have to give your brain the right direction.

When you ask yourself a question, your mind will search for an answer. It's human nature. So if you flub up and then say (Heaven forbid!!) to yourself, "Why am I such an !d!0t?" Your mind will rush to answer that question--confirming and strengthening an idea that's not so good. But wait! This principle works for the good too! Ask yourself, "What small thing can I do to move in the direction of my dreams?" and your mind will give you some answers. Good news, right? Now we just have to figure out the best questions to ask so that we get the answers that will build us in ways that are positive. Here are some ideas that come to mind, and as always, I'd love to hear your ideas (leave a comment and help others who read this post).

• What can I do that will support my health?
• Who do I love?/Who loves me? (Try this as you're going to sleep and think of the names of people who love you/who you love starting with A all the way to Z)
• What is my intuition telling me about ______?
• Who do I need to forgive? (Then, do the forgiving, or at least "pretend" to forgive to start your own inner healing.)
• What am I grateful for?

Here are the questions I have posted on my fridge:

• How can I transform & elevate the meaning that I am giving to this action?
• How can i do what I'm about to do in an elevated way?
• Who will this benefit? (these questions are from a podcast by R. Zelig Pliskin)
• What am I living for?
• How am I going to get there? (these questions are from R. Noach Weinberg)

For a long time I just had some questions on a sticky note, but in a moment of inspiration, I got out some craft supplies and had some fun making a bright, bold paper so I'll ask myself these questions more often and with strong intention.

So, what are the questions you ask yourself, or your kids, or your spouse, or employees, or...?

Love,
Aunt Laya

Now what do I do?

You do not have to reinvent the wheel. There are people who can help you grow in the directions you want to grow. There are life coaches, basketball coaches, editors, business mentors, advisers, and what ever else you can think of. This is not just about career advancement.

You have something you bring to this life and it is something unique that only you can bring. It may not make a big splash, but it will--for sure!--send ripples out that change the world in real ways.

If you need support to sing the song you are here to sing, ask! And don't wait to sing your song, be it parenthood, gardening, nursing, performing, cleaning, teaching, friendship, building, doctoring, learning, even blogging! My life has been touched by children, bus drivers, taxi drivers, airport security, the smile of someone on the street, the receptionist at the dentist's office, and so many more.

Give a hand. Take a hand.

Love,
Aunt Laya

When will this end?

Sometimes people want to know when the challenges will end. The answer, not always so great to hear, is that they don't. Oh, you'll get a break from this challenge (and you may even be able to make some changes that bring that break sooner if you make the right choices). And, you should know, life is all about the challenges. In fact, your challenges are uniquely designed just for you--to shape you and grow you! This is better than a GPS that tells you how to get from one place to another, only life is more mysterious about it. You are given challenges so you can grow.

Now you have a choice to make. You can sit and whine about your challenges. You can cry the blues if you want to. Or, you can look for what your life's purpose is and live it to the fullest even in spite of your challenges. You can face your challenges and rise. You can face your challenges and get stronger by solving the puzzle of what to do about things. You get to create the life you want to live.

You get to choose. That is your power, the power of choice. Choose your attitude. Choose your next steps. You can ask for help if you need or want to; you don't have to go it alone. (Divine help (prayer is a great thing, just start talking), help from friends, try a seminar, or even a book.)

Hang in there when things feel challenging. Like all of life, there is a pulse. Energy comes in waves so there are times for resting and times for working, times for grieving and times for celebrating. For sure you'll have more challenges in life as the months and years unfold before you. And for sure, if you pay attention, you'll see the many blessings too. You might just even see the blessings in the challenges if you pay close attention.

Love,

Aunt Laya

I took this photo. So, thanks to the people who designed digital. :-)

Rock your world

How can you rock your world? Helping someone else is a way to begin. It doesn't even have to be big.
*Smile at someone who could use a smile. A smile is a bigger deal that a lot of people give it credit for. A smile says, I notice you, you matter.
*Say something kind. Be real, but say it out loud. It can be as simple as "Hope your day is great," or even just plain, "Good morning" can make someone feel noticed.
*Asking a cashier, "How are you?" will often get a look of surprise. I know we don't have time to hear a whole lot, but knowing that someone cares enough to ask and listen to what ever answer they have to give can be so kind.

Want to up the stakes? How about cooking a meal for someone who needs the help, or giving them a gift of a pizza. Ever think about taking care of some kids to give a mom a little time off for errands or a bath? Have you read the post on this blog about "love notes"? Read it and then go ahead and write someone you care for a love note.

Have you ever been a volunteer? Talk about life changing. I'd love to hear your story about volunteering and what you got out of it.

You can't give without receiving. Giving grows you. Giving rocks the world.

Guess what? Asking for help is important too. Sometimes giving will lift you up, but sometimes it's in the receiving that you can be lifted. It's okay to ask, and it's really okay to receive.

So, where do you fit in all this today? Do you have something to give? Are you the one in need? It's not always black and white. You can give and receive all in the same day or even the same moment.

Participate in life with the intention to do good things; it will rock your world.
And when you rock your world, it ripples out in ways we can not even imagine. It may even rock the heavens.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Er-a-Er-a-Errrr! Wake Up!

This is your very own personal wake up call. What are you avoiding? What are you procrastinating about? Get honest here.

• Do you need to make a phone call? (Call during lunch and it will be short.)

• Have you taken any action toward a dream? A baby step will do.

• Do you need a nap? Power naps are “in.” Or take a gentle nap.

• Have you said “I love you” to someone who needs to hear it?

• When was the last time you said “thank you” with eye contact?

• Where do you need to change your perspective?

• What are you looking for in life?

• Are you being true to you?

• Who are you spending your precious time with?

I don’t know who said this first, but I love the message:
“When you get a wake up call, answer the phone,
and when opportunity knocks, answer the door.”

You have an opportunity RIGHT NOW to take one small action that will make a difference. Just one small thing. Minor tweaking over time has a huge impact! Consider me your very own personal cheering section.

• Read one page of that important book
• Give one dollar to someone that feeds hungry people
• Do one load of laundry
• Contact one business lead
• Say one sincere prayer
• Brush away one tear
• Ease one heart—your heart counts!

You can do this!

Love,
Aunt Laya