I'm SO angry!!!

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
-- Buddha

First thing is to understand that anger is ALWAYS about ego. That's hard to take in if you're in the heat of anger. If you can, try this on for size: what ever it is that is making you mad isn't really the issue, it's the way you react to any given situation that matters. You can argue this one, but I'm not sure anger will ever really help resolve any situation.

I used to study martial arts. I learned that if you're sparring and you get mad at your opponent, you can no longer spar with a clear mind. So one of my teachers taught me to think of sparring as a game of tag. If your opponent hits you, he taught you where you are open so you can become a better martial artist.

People who fly into a rage
always make a bad landing.
-- Will Rogers

In life, when something makes you angry, you have a chance to learn about yourself and grow.

OK, all that said, it's important to understand that feelings are feelings. If you get angry, it's a wake-up call, but don't just stuff the feelings and pretend they aren't there. You have a situation to deal with, not to ignore. The anger is a red flag that says "pay attention." That might mean creating better boundaries, it might mean getting out of a situation that's not healthy, it might mean a heart-to-heart talk with someone you care deeply about. It could mean any number of things. AND, if you act out in anger, you are very likely to regret it so it's important to stop and think before you act.

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help, and what he cannot help.
-- Thomas Fuller

Think about this:

• Underneath anger is hurt. If you weren't hurting, you wouldn't be angry.

• Underneath hurt is caring. If you didn't care, you wouldn't feel hurt about it.

• Underneath it all is the loving essence of who you are at your core, your spirit.

If you can tap into the deeper layers, you can get past the destruction of the anger faster.

For more ideas about how to take control of your life in a positive way you can read these earlier posts from this blog.

Blessing of the day: May you find the best thoughts and remedies to bring you the sweetest peace of mind.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Mistakes!

"A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable
but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." ~ George Bernard Shaw

Don't be afraid of making mistakes. It's one of the ways we learn. Learn from your mistakes and then move forward.

Dream your dreams, do the thing that gives your life meaning. If you're doing something that doesn't make your heart sing--in the big picture, nothing is always perfectly wonderful, there are challenges in even the best of choices--you can always change direction, change your mind, regroup, and move ahead in the direction you want to be moving!

One of the beautiful gifts that life experience brings is that each mistake you make shapes you. You have more experience and you get to make more choices from a position of deeper understanding.

Be true to you. (and be honest with yourself!)

Remember:

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." ~ Albert Einstein

Keep shining!
Love,
Aunt Laya

photo (c) 2008, Laya Saul
This photo may be used with permission with a credit and link to this blog :-)

When people make you mad and frustrated...

Sometimes we are around people who act like real jerks. Feeling frustrated or mad or hurt is a part of life. It happens to everyone. No one likes feeling like that so how do we cut down on that time so we can spend more time in balance and pleasure? Here's a key that changed my life when I learned it!

Stick with me here--this may not be such an easy thing to wrap your brain around right away.

When someone is acting in a way that's not so nice, it means that they are in pain and what they really need is a blessing!

What does that mean? How do you bless someone? You say (out loud if you can but you don't have to) good wishes and words of kindness. This isn't always easy at first but neither was walking the first time you tried it and now you don't need to think about it, right? This takes less time that memorizing your times tables and it feels really great. You have to try this to know what I'm talking about. Here's how I apply it:

When someone cuts me off in traffic (something that I've always thought to be rude and dangerous), I have to tell you, I don't start off feeling all warm and fuzzy about blessing that person. I start talking anyway, usually something like this: "May you be blessed to get home safe and sound, may you enjoy time with your family, your children and even grandchildren. May you live a long life and have the privilege of seeing your grandchildren walk down the aisle!" Most of the time when I bless someone in this situation, they never even know about it! They don't need to know about it. By the time I get to the end of the blessing, I really mean every word of it and guess what? I feel better. I'm happier, balanced and I feel empowered.

Scientific studies have been done about prayer and healing that show how very effective it is. If prayer was a drug it would be for sale on the market. A blessing is like a prayer. It may or may not change the person you're blessing (I think it does) but for sure it changes the one speaking the blessing, in this case, you!

Here's another real life way I used this one. My husband and I were going to park in front of a lady's house. She didn't like the idea of all the cars on her street and made it really clear to us that the space in front of her house was not open to us. All she had to do was ask us not to park there--no problem. But, no, she had to start right away by yelling at us, a grown woman yelling at me! Crazy. I felt a rush of adrenaline when she started yelling. I started to say "Just ask, no problem," but she wouldn't hear it at all. So, I started to bless her. Out loud. She yelled over my words, so I closed my eyes and just kept on. She stopped yelling and just stood there looking at me as I went on with my blessing. Her eyes turned kind and she pointed just across the way and said, "that looks like an open spot right there." Now, maybe she thought I was crazy, but by the time we had parked and left, she stood smiling at us. We were both transformed.

You can use this with anyone in your life. Use it on yourself too! It is one of the most powerful tools ever.

May you be blessed to find kind words when you need them. May you be blessed to hear kind words when you need them the most. If you need a "love note", write me, it's what I do.

Love,
Aunt Laya

P.S. As always, if you think someone is dangerous, get away. You can bless them later from a distance. Stay safe. <3

With gratitude to Morguefile.com and EmmiP for the photo!