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Friday, October 12, 2007

Compromise or Settle?

In life you have to make compromises. There's a difference between settling and compromising. One way to think of it is that you don't get everything you want, the way you want it, when you want it. I once took a class in finance. One of the principles I learned was that if you manage your money successfully (saving and spending habits--a skill worth learning), you can have anything you want, not everything, anything. That means you have to consider what is most important to you.

When you know what is most important to you, you can set a goal. You can achieve, have, develop, or create that thing, whether it's a relationship, a college degree, or that new fancy gadget or outfit. Once you get yourself on track with your goal, it means you compromise something else. You have to let go of some things in order to have what you really want. Like, if you really want to be happily married, you've got to let go of dating other people.

Settling is when you don't believe that you can have what you want so you take what you think is the best you can get.

Back to the example of relationship. Settling is taking a partner you don't enjoy because you think you won't find anyone else. Compromising means she doesn't like to watch basketball with you, but she is a pleasure to talk with. Settling means staying with an abusive man because you are afraid to let go, compromising means he's not as tall as you dreamed.

There are some things that you never have to compromise on. And there are some things you can settle for. Don't ever compromise your values. You can settle for a different brand of tomato sauce when you're shopping.

Just something to consider.

Aunt Laya

Thank you to Scott M. Liddle ( and for the great photo, again!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Who inspires you?

I'm inspired by so many.

I'm inspired by my kids who keep forgiving me for all my frailties.

I'm inspired by the two men who have ancient graves near my home, men who were buried nearly 2,000 years ago and are so remembered that what they taught is still known today. One taught that we should not do good for the heavenly reward but to do good for its own sake and the sake of heaven. The other taught that no matter where you are in life you can start over and rise to greatness. He also lived generously, giving half his wealth to charity.

I'm inspired by the authors I've read who took the time to write books that taught and shaped me to be my best self. (They are why I wrote my book. If they touched my life, maybe I can touch a life as well.)

I'm inspired by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., Thoreau, Menachem Schneerson. Their quotes float into this world and are candles of light to raise up this world.

Next week my parents celebrate 65 years of marriage. How much I learn from watching them.

My brother is a teacher and has been for years. He loves what he does and cares about his students. I wish all teachers were like him. I hope I can touch young lives like he does.

My mother-in-law is like the sunshine. I've never met anyone else like her in my life. She's one of those petite women with the majesty of a lion.

Esther Jungreiss is also a petite woman who carries herself with majesty and grace. She survived a concentration camp as a child. Now she lives a life of giving. Her light is brilliant. Her stories are profound.

Oprah demonstrates to me the way to being real, and that in being real is where you can find your success.

I know people who have adopted downs syndrome babies and are raising them up in a loving family environment. Their strength inspires me.

I'm inspired by the people who send in secrets to the PostSecret project ( and the people who respond to them.

Who inspires you? Shop around for the qualities you admire in others. Then look inside because you have those same qualities. You can grow them by being aware of them with your intention.

You are one amazing light in this world. Shine!

Aunt Laya