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Monday, July 21, 2008

A great resource for help.

You'll find a lot of information, support, articles, and even some fun stuff.

These are the forum categories you'll find in the advice section there:

 Self Harm


 Eating Disorders

 Mental Health

 Abuse and Bullying

 Drugs and Alcohol

 First Aid Advice and Information

You are not alone no matter what is happening.
You can ask for help and it is OK to ask for help.

Aunt Laya

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Get Out of Your Own Way!!!

What does that mean?

Sometimes you have a desire or a goal but you feel stuck, right? There are lots of things you can do to move yourself in the direction of your dreams or goals or desires, but if your mindset-- your way of thinking about things--isn't clear, you might be sabotaging yourself!!!

One major example is the balance of a person's ego. Now there is a lot said about people who have a big ego, they only seem to think about (and look after and talk about) themselves all the time. They are not so great to be around. The other side of the coin is when someone feels badly about themselves. Guess what? They also have an out of balance ego. They are also only thinking about themselves!!! Either way is out of balance.

What can you do about it?

I'm going to introduce you to a new form of therapy that I've created. It's called "Get Over It."

"Whaaaa... they make fun of me."
Get over it!

"I'm not pretty enough."
Get Over It.

I never get the good stuff.
Get Over It.

Listen, sometimes crying is what people need. And when you need to cry, let it flow--and then LET IT GO.

Do you hear me?

But it's not fair.
Get Over It.

Do you want to spend your time whining? Or would you rather spend your time in JOY? I highly recommend joy when ever appropriate. How can you find your way to more joy? Start with the basics. Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools to joy and contentment. If you know me at all, you know I'm all about empowerment.

So, get out of your own way, stop whining, and step into your power.
Blink by blink, one minute at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one year at a time.

You CAN do this!

Aunt Laya

Good looking? Attractive? Ugly? Alone?

A long time ago I was a make-up artist in Hollywood. I worked with movie stars and models. I saw them first thing in the morning, no make up, hair a rumpled mess. Here's what I learned:

Not many of them are really such "natural beauties". A lot of what you see as "beautiful" is in the presentation. Kind of like if you put a plain hamburger on a big old plate it's sort of sad looking but if you put it on a bit of lettuce, garnish with pickles, and put some fries next to it, it looks more appetizing. Or like if you just stick a bunch of flowers in a plastic cup, they are kind of blah. But if you take the same flowers and put them in a nice vase and arrange them so there's balance, the same flowers look nicer.

With a person, a good hair cut and hair style go a long way. Clothes that fit make a huge difference. Make-up doesn't have to be heavy to accent a nice feature. Less is most often best. If you're not sure where to get help with your hair, ask someone who's haircut you like where they get it cut. (Get referrals!!) Hygiene is important: teeth brushed, hair clean, nails clean and clean clothes too.

Attitude makes the biggest difference of all. Confidence makes people more attractive. Sometimes actors "act" confident even when they aren't really all that secure. I found the less talented actors tended to have the biggest egos. The very talented actors and singers were secure and confident and (usually) behaved very professionally. A sense of humor goes a long way in creating attractiveness.

A smiling face is much more handsome than a sour face.

I found and still find that as I get to know people, the nicer they are, the more their beauty grows in my eyes. The more obnoxious they are, the less attractive they seem. One of the reasons we think so many performers are beautiful is because we have come to know them through their work and that makes them seem like more. What that means is that kindness is actually a characteristic of beauty. (Which, I'll keep reminding you does not mean you don't have boundaries. Kindness becomes self destructive if you don't have boundaries.)

Do not buy into the myth that beauty is "perfection."
Perfect beauty can only be seen using the eyes of the heart and soul.

If you are alive, you are full of majesty and beauty. Everyone who is looking for true love is looking for something different and true love is not based on bra size or hair color, it's not based on how much skin is revealed. It is not based on expensive jeans or designer sunglasses and a man does not need a six pack to find lasting love.

When you look at yourself in the mirror and you want to see something attractive looking back, consider what exactly do you want to attract?

I'm here to tell you right now that there is someone who can and will love you for who you are if you let your truest self shine through. Think of your body as an accessory. Take care of it. Present yourself well (this is not about the more skin the better). And most of all, let your heart and imagination, your brains, your humor, and your goodness shine.

Keep shining!
Aunt Laya

With gratitude to Clarita and

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Can you taste the sweet?

Life has it's hard times and I talk a lot about how to get through the tough stuff. It's also important to see what is working and what is great. We all have a lot to be grateful about.

A famous performer was interviewed about her abusive past. She talked about the horrific things her mother did to her. And yet, she said she was grateful! Why? Because her mother, who was clearly mentally unstable--like really sick--never crossed the line to take her life. So this woman was grateful that her mother never killed her. And she made a great life for herself!

I share that extreme story because I want you to be able to see the sweetness that you have available in this life. I heard a great metaphor: If you're not tasting the sweetness of life then you aren't really opening up to the good there is for you. It's like trying to taste a lollipop with the wrapper on!

Exercise of the day: Get some kind of sweet that you really like to eat--watermelon, chocolate, mints, whatever. Pause for a minute before you eat it and pay attention to what's going to happen in your mouth when you taste it. Then enjoy the taste as it explodes in your mouth. (There are some people who do not have the sense of taste right now, this is a gift.) Gratitude is good.

Can you make a list of things (even in your head) that you have taken for granted?

Taste the sweetness. Hear the music. Feel the cool breeze at the end of a summer's day. Look into the eyes (or hearts) of the people who love you.

Have a great summer!

Aunt Laya

Photos from
Thank you to xandert and Cheryl Rankin

Monday, July 07, 2008

If you can't afford to buy my book...

Please write me through my website. If you can't afford to buy the book, I'll send you the e-book for free, no strings attached.

I want any teen who wants to read my book to have access to it, and I really mean that. I want to empower young people (of any age). Knowledge, especially self knowledge, is empowering. So if you have read a sample at my website or Amazon, and want more, you can get the e-book version as simply as sending me a note and telling me you want the e-book.

Summer is a great time to take time for yourself.

Quote for the day: “You create your opportunities by asking for them." Shakti Gawain

Aunt Laya

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Welcome PostSecret Community!

I want to welcome visitors from the PostSecret community. I've posted about that amazing blog before. Frank Warren, the creator of PostSecret put me on the Hopeline Blogroll since I posted the video about Hopeline below. Now I don't do tracking (don't know how) and I have no clue how many visitors I get, but I do know I've gotten visitors through that link, so welcome!

People's hearts are wrapped up in their secrets. For some people, letting a secret out is liberating. For some, knowing someone else has the same secret is comforting--we're not alone in our life's experiences.

Maybe the wondrous thing about sharing a secret is knowing you'll still be lovable. Maybe it's knowing that you really do have the power to change (thoughts, feelings, actions) or that it's OK to cry, or that it's OK to laugh.

Mostly I think it's about letting light into the darkest places, letting go, connecting, healing, and rising. That's my mission: to let light into lives, to inspire, and to empower people. I hope you will explore and find a little tidbit that will lift your day while you're here. I'd love to hear from you!

Love and blessings,
Thanks to ronnieb and for the wonderful photo