More of the good in life

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?

(Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive")
("Eliminate the negative")
("And latch on to the affirmative")
Don't mess with Mister In-Between (No!)
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)
(Have faith or pandemonium's)
(Liable to walk upon the scene)

You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive
Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative
And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between

Love,

Aunt Laya

Transformng Jealously

From a reader:

“When you are jealous of someone else, you don't have what they have, but you also don't have what you have.”

I have thought about this quote for some weeks now. I struggle with jealousy and I was wondering if you could illuminate on this idea of not having what you have...
I wish it was something I could internalize better.
Thank you and love the blog and the book!
N 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear N, 
Thanks for writing, you're not the only one who struggles with this. Here are some more thoughts about jealousy and how to change your thoughts in a more useful and building direction. As always, take what ever parts of these thoughts that work for you and integrate at your own pace.  It doesn't have to happen all at once. That you have the will to grow means that you will grow in the ways you want to.

~~~~~~~~~~~

When someone occupies their thoughts with the desire to have what someone else has, they are so focused on their lack (perceived or even real)  that they can not see, feel, or think about all that they really do have.  


Let’s look at it with an example of a life situation that could come up:
A teenager is watching the way another kid dresses in the latest, trendy, very expensive clothing. She is jealous that she doesn’t have those same outfits. Her whole world is about lack. It’s a dismal point of view.


If she were to notice what she does have, two things can happen. One is a sense of contentment and even gratitude. It could be that she lives in a wonderful home, has loving friends and family, and even has clothing that she likes, etc. The second thing is that she might allow herself to tap into her dreams or yearnings and become inspired.


If you feel jealous there is a chance to transform that feeling--intentionally change the thoughts--to thoughts of inspiration.  When you feel the feelings of jealousy rising up inside you, turn those feelings to admiration and let yourself be inspired to rise, accomplish, or create in your own life. 


Worth exploring: No one knows what anyone else is going through. The one with the fancy house may be in debt like crazy and about to loose his home to foreclosure. The guy with the college degree may be lonely. “Beautiful people” may be suffering from silent depression or an illness that is hidden from your view. No one can know the whole story behind what “appears” so wonderful. 

Everyone has been lovingly created and gifted. 

(((and)))

Everyone has challenges. 

Jealousy itself is a form of despair. It’s a darkness that is not even based in reality because no one knows what is really going on within the object of their jealousy.


Transforming jealousy into inspiration
If you see someone with something that you want, imagine that yours is coming soon, that seeing the thing you desire in someone else is a sign that yours is near. In other words, you do not desire the exact thing you’re seeing--the one that he has in his hands now, you desire the version that is available to you. This can be material things, meaning “stuff,” or qualities.


Maybe people are jealous of something that is not possible for them to have for what ever reason. This world is designed so that each one of us has gifts that we are born with and a potential that we can fulfill. The gifts you receive are going to be different. Each gift is precious and no one can know the true spiritual value of the gifts we are blessed with.


The remedy for jealousy is gratitude 
If you focus on your blessings this is an invitation to increased blessings. You can heal the feelings of jealousy by saying “thank you.” Thank you for another day of life, thank you for opening the door for me, thank you for letting me merge into your lane of traffic, thank you for being such a jerk so that I can grow, be forgiving, or set better boundaries. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for taking the time.


Thank you to N for inspiring this post, I hope it's helpful for you.


I always love to hear from readers!
Love,
Aunt Laya

With gratitude to Morguefile.com and duilio for the photograph!

No Bull

*no bull*

Don't you just hate it when you're talking to someone, and they give you a line, and you know that what they just said was bull? Lot's of the time we know when someone is full of it.

Now we have some possible problems here:

1) You trick yourself into thinking or believing what you want to believe instead of the truth, and fall for the line

or

2) You are the one giving the line and for some reason you don't think other people have a "bull" meter for when you're not being honest

and

You actually think you've "pulled one over" on someone

the reality is

No matter how you play this one, you really tricked yourself! Yikes! That means you need to take responsibility for tapping into your own guts. It means that you have the power to discern whether what's happening or being said is true and good for you and other people or not.

Stop letting other people "pull the wool over your eyes" (that means stop letting people trick you with lies!). Stop doing it to yourself. 

Get real. This is a gift you can give yourself and the sooner you're honest with yourself, the sooner you'll live a life that is free from bull.

You can apply this to many different aspects of your life: relationships, buying and selling, business deals, or education to name some.

Honestly yours,

Aunt Laya

**No offense to the actual, furry animal. They're nice, helpful, vegetarians who don't hurt anyone. Nice bull. Mmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooo.

At what price beauty?

I've been talking about this for YEARS! Having worked as a make-up artist and hair stylist, I can tell you that presentation is everything. Here is a one minute demonstration of how the beauty industry and media have shaped (or warped) our perceptions about what is beauty. We've even done it to our food, preferring to buy a 'perfect' fruit or veggie instead of the small, yummy, often misshapen way they grow naturally.



Of course we want to take care of ourselves and look our best. So what will make you look your best and be the most attractive you can be?

• Attitude! Confidence is one of the most attractive factors you can have.

• A sincere and kind smile is brilliant and very magnetic.

• Good health equals vitality which is a beautiful thing.

• Living your heart's desires, moving in the direction of your dreams gives meaning and joy to life and a sparkle in your eyes. Very attractive.
  

There are people in the world who will be judgmental no matter what you do. So the choice is yours to make. You get to choose where you want to put the power and you get to choose what you want to make important.

Bottom line: Everyone is created with a different flavor, beauty, and shine. If you don't see it within yourself or another, keep looking. (You'll see what you look for!)

Shine!
Love,
Aunt Laya

How long should you try?

"How long do you give a baby to learn to walk
before you tell him to give it up?" ~Jim Rohn

I talk about baby steps all the time. Take things a little bit at a time. The thing is, it's not just about taking small steps, it's about taking the steps in the first place. What ever it is that you want to improve or build or learn or have in your life, you can create amazing results only if you work on your attitude and actions.

Fuel yourself with information. Keep growing! Keep going in the direction of your dreams.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Thank you to morguefile.com and puravida for the wonderful photo.

You Are What You Think!

What do you think about? "Down" thoughts will bring you "down." As T. Harv Eker says, "Crap moves at the speed of crap." So, if you want to feel good, think good things.

Imagine your success. Imagine the people you love and the people who love you.

Look around. If your environment is full of things that have bad memories, get rid of them.
Surround yourself with things that are uplifting to you.

Listen to music or motivational talks that make you feel energetic or enthusiastic. You can see lots of the top motivational speakers online for free on any of the channels where you view videos.

When I'm having a hard time falling asleep, I've trained myself to "think happy thoughts." I recommend it highly! What are happy thoughts for you? If your mind is cluttered with negative thoughts or busy thoughts of "things to do," write them down. Tear up the list of negative thoughts and toss them. Put the "things to do" list to the side and look at it when you're in business mode. Letting go is a great way for your mind to do its best work and you'll be surprised with the results. This sounds easier than it actually is. You may need to create a list of "happy thoughts" so that if you find your mind wandering to the negative side, you can remind yourself from the list.

The direction you look will be the direction you move toward. That law works whether you're driving, walking, or directing your life path.

What do you choose?

Love,
Aunt Laya

With gratitude to cohdra and morguefile.com for the amazing photo!

Getting through hard times

Sometimes life sends you a whammy and it doesn't feel good at all! Someone says something that hurts, or looks at you in a way that stings. Sometimes people are rude, or the project you're working on isn't working out. Or maybe you worked hard on something and it seems like every obstacle that could possibly show up, does--and then some! Hard stuff.

Hang on! Take a deep breath.

This is a test, it is only a test. The purpose of the test is to help you grow. The 'Universe', God, Spirit, your Higher Power, what ever you want to call it, is sending you a lesson so that you can become stronger and grow.

It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, how much you weigh, how tall you are, male, female, or how old you are. It doesn't matter if you are experienced or not. Life will send you lessons and they will NOT be comfortable.

And guess what? That's OK! It really is. Because if you're reading this right now, I'm here to tell you, you can get through this test and you can use this experience to make you stronger. You can use any experience to your advantage and flourish in AMAZING ways. Amazing! Do you hear me? Amazing! I'm not exaggerating.

What ever tests life presents you with are there for a reason. In the end even the hardest stuff will turn out to be for the best because you'll be a better person. You can learn and grow and you are always stronger in the end, even if it doesn't feel like that's possible right now.

When you find yourself in one of the 'tests' of life, hang in there. If you don't 'get it' the first time around, it will come around again and you can catch the lesson the next round.

All along the way, remember that you are not alone. Everyone else is being tested, sometimes the same tests, sometimes different, but we're all tested. Even the people who look like they have it all together... you'd be amazed at the stories each one of us carries.

You can handle anything that comes your way. Keep breathing, ask for help when you need it. Be good to you and those around you.

With lots of love and some cyber (((((hugs))))) too!
Aunt Laya

Thank you to kakisky and Morguefile.com for the great photo!

Who inspires you?

I'm inspired by so many.

I'm inspired by my kids who keep forgiving me for all my frailties.

I'm inspired by the two men who have ancient graves near my home, men who were buried nearly 2,000 years ago and are so remembered that what they taught is still known today. One taught that we should not do good for the heavenly reward but to do good for its own sake and the sake of heaven. The other taught that no matter where you are in life you can start over and rise to greatness. He also lived generously, giving half his wealth to charity.

I'm inspired by the authors I've read who took the time to write books that taught and shaped me to be my best self. (They are why I wrote my book. If they touched my life, maybe I can touch a life as well.)

I'm inspired by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., Thoreau, Menachem Schneerson. Their quotes float into this world and are candles of light to raise up this world.

Next week my parents celebrate 65 years of marriage. How much I learn from watching them.

My brother is a teacher and has been for years. He loves what he does and cares about his students. I wish all teachers were like him. I hope I can touch young lives like he does.

My mother-in-law is like the sunshine. I've never met anyone else like her in my life. She's one of those petite women with the majesty of a lion.

Esther Jungreiss is also a petite woman who carries herself with majesty and grace. She survived a concentration camp as a child. Now she lives a life of giving. Her light is brilliant. Her stories are profound.

Oprah demonstrates to me the way to being real, and that in being real is where you can find your success.

I know people who have adopted downs syndrome babies and are raising them up in a loving family environment. Their strength inspires me.

I'm inspired by the people who send in secrets to the PostSecret project (www.postsecret.com) and the people who respond to them.

Who inspires you? Shop around for the qualities you admire in others. Then look inside because you have those same qualities. You can grow them by being aware of them with your intention.

You are one amazing light in this world. Shine!

Love,
Aunt Laya