Dear Aunt Laya,
I need some advice, because I can't seem to find anyone who can tell me how to solve my problem. I can't get myself to go to class everyday! I skip and come up with all sorts of excuses, though the real reason is that I feel like a loser in class. My class consists of students with sky-high GPAs, and I am the only odd one there. Although I work harder than them in terms of written work, I cannot think like them and generate questions like how they do. In my school, we are graded on our participation and knowledge and not how much work we produce. I always get out-beaten and never feels good. My grades are failing, I only have one year before I graduate and I can't help feeling hopeless and useless all the time. I never hated school this much. I would really appreciate some advice.
Sometimes trees appear to be dying but they are not. It is fall and time for the leaves to die and fall off, but the tree isn't really dying, its just in a cycle of renewal. The tree stands strong and beautiful in the winter as the next phase is preparing itself. There is a beauty in this cycle of life too but you have to look for it to see it. Then in the spring new buds will form and suddenly seem to burst forth in an explosion of growth.
DO NOT DESPAIR! I learned that despair is when someone is full of self pity and then there is no room for joy to come in. Now may be a good time for you to redefine what success is to you. It's not the same for everyone, you know? If you have only one year left to graduate, keep showing up and get through this. It doesn't have to be on the same terms as everyone else. Just because the instructor is not judging you in a framework that is fair to you, you don't have to measure your success in the same way. Don't let discouragement get the better of you. Hang in there, "this too shall pass".
Have you defined your dreams? Do you know what is important to you? School is a tool and a stepping stone. Finish what you started and then use the open doors to head toward your heart's desire. That means you are true to you (not some teacher's version of what you "should" be, what your Creator intended for you to be in all your shining true self).
You really can do this!
Love and (((hugs))),
Thank you to Robb and Morguefile.com for the beautiful photo!