Good looking? Attractive? Ugly? Alone?

A long time ago I was a make-up artist in Hollywood. I worked with movie stars and models. I saw them first thing in the morning, no make up, hair a rumpled mess. Here's what I learned:

Not many of them are really such "natural beauties". A lot of what you see as "beautiful" is in the presentation. Kind of like if you put a plain hamburger on a big old plate it's sort of sad looking but if you put it on a bit of lettuce, garnish with pickles, and put some fries next to it, it looks more appetizing. Or like if you just stick a bunch of flowers in a plastic cup, they are kind of blah. But if you take the same flowers and put them in a nice vase and arrange them so there's balance, the same flowers look nicer.

With a person, a good hair cut and hair style go a long way. Clothes that fit make a huge difference. Make-up doesn't have to be heavy to accent a nice feature. Less is most often best. If you're not sure where to get help with your hair, ask someone who's haircut you like where they get it cut. (Get referrals!!) Hygiene is important: teeth brushed, hair clean, nails clean and clean clothes too.

Attitude makes the biggest difference of all. Confidence makes people more attractive. Sometimes actors "act" confident even when they aren't really all that secure. I found the less talented actors tended to have the biggest egos. The very talented actors and singers were secure and confident and (usually) behaved very professionally. A sense of humor goes a long way in creating attractiveness.

A smiling face is much more handsome than a sour face.

I found and still find that as I get to know people, the nicer they are, the more their beauty grows in my eyes. The more obnoxious they are, the less attractive they seem. One of the reasons we think so many performers are beautiful is because we have come to know them through their work and that makes them seem like more. What that means is that kindness is actually a characteristic of beauty. (Which, I'll keep reminding you does not mean you don't have boundaries. Kindness becomes self destructive if you don't have boundaries.)

Do not buy into the myth that beauty is "perfection."
Perfect beauty can only be seen using the eyes of the heart and soul.

If you are alive, you are full of majesty and beauty. Everyone who is looking for true love is looking for something different and true love is not based on bra size or hair color, it's not based on how much skin is revealed. It is not based on expensive jeans or designer sunglasses and a man does not need a six pack to find lasting love.

When you look at yourself in the mirror and you want to see something attractive looking back, consider what exactly do you want to attract?

I'm here to tell you right now that there is someone who can and will love you for who you are if you let your truest self shine through. Think of your body as an accessory. Take care of it. Present yourself well (this is not about the more skin the better). And most of all, let your heart and imagination, your brains, your humor, and your goodness shine.

Keep shining!
Love,
Aunt Laya

With gratitude to Clarita and Morguefile.com

Say Cheese! ;-)

You can change the world with your smile!

You must know the story about the toll booth guy who was feeing so sad and invisible until one day he was greeted with a great smile. He felt so good that he passed it to the next driver, who passed it along, who passed it along…

There’s a children’s picture book called “I like your buttons” which has the same kind of message. A child tells her teacher that she likes the buttons on her blouse. The teacher passes the compliment on until it reaches the little girls father—who then brings the little girl a kitten because he’s feeling so happy.

Don’t underestimate the power of your smile.

Experiment for the day: Smile sincerely or give a sincere compliment to several people during your day. Try this with lots of people (like someone who helps you at the store, a waiter, someone at the bank, etc.), and also with people who you are close to (like your parents or kids, close friends, even neighbors). Let the kindness go like a helium balloon you’d release into the sky. How do YOU feel at the end of the day?

Love,
Aunt Laya