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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

When people make you mad and frustrated...

Sometimes we are around people who act like real jerks. Feeling frustrated or mad or hurt is a part of life. It happens to everyone. No one likes feeling like that so how do we cut down on that time so we can spend more time in balance and pleasure? Here's a key that changed my life when I learned it!

Stick with me here--this may not be such an easy thing to wrap your brain around right away.

When someone is acting in a way that's not so nice, it means that they are in pain and what they really need is a blessing!

What does that mean? How do you bless someone? You say (out loud if you can but you don't have to) good wishes and words of kindness. This isn't always easy at first but neither was walking the first time you tried it and now you don't need to think about it, right? This takes less time that memorizing your times tables and it feels really great. You have to try this to know what I'm talking about. Here's how I apply it:

When someone cuts me off in traffic (something that I've always thought to be rude and dangerous), I have to tell you, I don't start off feeling all warm and fuzzy about blessing that person. I start talking anyway, usually something like this: "May you be blessed to get home safe and sound, may you enjoy time with your family, your children and even grandchildren. May you live a long life and have the privilege of seeing your grandchildren walk down the aisle!" Most of the time when I bless someone in this situation, they never even know about it! They don't need to know about it. By the time I get to the end of the blessing, I really mean every word of it and guess what? I feel better. I'm happier, balanced and I feel empowered.

Scientific studies have been done about prayer and healing that show how very effective it is. If prayer was a drug it would be for sale on the market. A blessing is like a prayer. It may or may not change the person you're blessing (I think it does) but for sure it changes the one speaking the blessing, in this case, you!

Here's another real life way I used this one. My husband and I were going to park in front of a lady's house. She didn't like the idea of all the cars on her street and made it really clear to us that the space in front of her house was not open to us. All she had to do was ask us not to park there--no problem. But, no, she had to start right away by yelling at us, a grown woman yelling at me! Crazy. I felt a rush of adrenaline when she started yelling. I started to say "Just ask, no problem," but she wouldn't hear it at all. So, I started to bless her. Out loud. She yelled over my words, so I closed my eyes and just kept on. She stopped yelling and just stood there looking at me as I went on with my blessing. Her eyes turned kind and she pointed just across the way and said, "that looks like an open spot right there." Now, maybe she thought I was crazy, but by the time we had parked and left, she stood smiling at us. We were both transformed.

You can use this with anyone in your life. Use it on yourself too! It is one of the most powerful tools ever.

May you be blessed to find kind words when you need them. May you be blessed to hear kind words when you need them the most. If you need a "love note", write me, it's what I do.

Aunt Laya

P.S. As always, if you think someone is dangerous, get away. You can bless them later from a distance. Stay safe. <3

With gratitude to and EmmiP for the photo!


TsfatMarm said...

Wow, what a great post!

I recently heard a woman say that she was surprised when one of her kids mentioned that she tended to say "Thank you" and "You should be healthy" when she was irritated with them. She realized that when she gets upset with her kids, she blesses them! She was so happy to realize that without intention, good things were coming out of her mouth when she was annoyed, that now she says them in a nicer tone (a real thank you instead of a sarcastic thank you) and truly blesses them!

May you be blessed to keep up the inspiring words that bring light and good into the world!

Laya said...

Thanks for your encouraging words and the beautiful blessing.

Big hugs and blessings!

Anonymous said...

wow what a powerful meaningful post, i try to look at things this way, but it;s not easy....

i sometimes think that some people if not for their nature and different meshugaasen they wouldnt survive what they are going through, like the silly guy having an overload of self confidence, or the shlimaazel feeling real good about himself., so we have to put u with that

Laya said...

Thanks for your encouraging words chosid, they bring me chizuk to keep going with my work. You're right about it not being easy. It does get easier with practice and like most things that take a lot of hishtadlus, the benefits are great. :-)
Aunt Laya

Anonymous said...

yeah i get mad at my cousin a lot, but with your help, we have both learned to live a better life and understand when people are mad and give them time and blessings. Aunt Laya, thank you so much! (this is coming from a 12 year old)

Laya said...

You are so welcome!
Aunt Laya