HopeLine from the Heart--Suicide preention

If you are a regular at my blog, you know I am a Postsecret fan. Frank Warren, the man who is behind the project is a big supporter of Hope Line Suicide prevention program. The notes and links below are from the Postsecret MySpace page.

Love,
Aunt Laya

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You may know of Reese's important work with HopeLine, but behind the scenes Reese has helped me many times with PostSecret and some of the community members who contact me directly.

Occationaly I get desperate emails from people that I am not equipt to respond to. In the past, I have forwarded these to Reese who is much better qualified to offer help. For the first time, here is one of those caring examples:


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From: Rebecca
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2008 3:49 AM
To: frank warren
Subject: To Frank, 1-800-suicide,

Hi,

My name is Rebecca and I'm 16 years old. I live in Las Vegas, Nevada with both of my parents and my older sister.

When I was growing up I never felt genuinely happy, I was often teased at school by class mates and physically abused at home. My dad was/is a drunk and my mom worked/s full time. When I was 10 I tried to commit suicide, a friend of mine had intervened and my parents stood idle, blind to the fact that I was extremely unhappy.

Lately I have had the urge to hurt myself, and I have given in. I don't know whats compelling me to do it, it doesn't make me feel better; it just takes my mind off of suicide. I have wanted to call the HopeLine for some time now, but I can't find the courage to do it... A month or two back I had confessed to a friend that I wanted to commit suicide and how my dad abused me when I was younger. He told me everything would be alright and if I need anything call him. He referred me to the hotline hoping it might save my life; and right now I need saving.

I'm too scared to call 1(800)SUICIDE; I'm too scared that calling and talking about it isn't going to be enough to help me. I'm scared that if I call nobody will pick up.

I hope to one day have the courage to call and move forward with my life.


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From: Reese Butler
To: Rebecca
Subject: To Frank, 1-800-suicide,

Dear Rebecca,

I promise you if you call us we will pick up. Please call 877-YOUTHLINE 968-8454 to reach a teen peer counselor. If you call between noon and 9PM at night you will reach a teen. It should ring to Phoenix Teen Lifeline. You can look them up online to see what they are all about. They are very cool and can help you understand what you are dealing with in a hopefully more productive way. Mainly just be there as a shoulder to lean on.

If you wish to chat online you can do so at at www.kidscrisis.com

Or any of these web sites:

http://www.realmentalhealth.com/chat/default.asp

http://www.counselingnet.com

http://www.kidshelp.com.au/template/standard.aspx?s=126&p=129&r=104&b=2

http://newhopeonline.org/counseling/liveperson.html

I also suggest reading the book Suicide the Forever Decision. It is
great read, (not boring) and very relevant.

You can download it for free at www.qprinstitute.com

If you are looking for email support you can find support at jo@samaritans.org

Let me know if these links are of no help. I have many more.

Lastly I do care that you live, and find happiness. Please do not do
anything to harm yourself. There are many who care. Please call us.

Best always,

Reese Butler

President and Founder
Kristin Brooks Hope Center
National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE 784-2433
202-536-3200
202-536-3206 fax
615 7th Street NE
Washington, D.C. 20002
www.hopeline.com
reese@hopeline.com


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From: Reese Butler
To: Rebecca
Subject: To Frank, 1-800-suicide,

Dear Rebecca,

I hope you are well or better. I never heard back from you so I do not know if you used the resources I sent and what the outcome was. I come across your picture and letter every once in a while and think of you. I wish there was more I could do but want you to know there are people who care unconditionally and will help if you will reach out.

Please drop me a note and let me know what is going on.

Best always,

Reese Butler
President and Founder
Kristin Brooks Hope Center
National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE 784-2433
202-536-3200
202-536-3206 fax
1250 24th Street NW
Suite 300
Washington, D.C. 20037
www.hopeline.com
reese@hopeline.com


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From: Rebecca
To: Reese Butler
Subject: To Frank, 1-800-suicide,

Reese-

I'm sorry I never got back to you. I've been keeping busy, trying not to have too much free time to let my mind wonder. It's great to know someone thinks about me now and then. I'm doing better, I've found a friend I can talk to when I'm feeling under the weather and I do the same for him. I still haven't called the hotline, I can't seem to find the guts to. I did however read that book you were talking about. It really made me think about my life and how fortunate I am. I realized I do have a future and I'm in control of that. Still on the long road to recovery, I'm confident I can make it through this.

Thank you so much for being there and recognizing me. I really appreciate everything you've done for me.

-Rebecca


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From: Reese Butler ..
To: Rebecca
Subject: To Frank, 1-800-suicide,

No worries. I am just glad things are better for you and you have a support system.

The teen peer line is a great resource when your friends are not around. As they are teens too and deal with the same issues you do they can relate better than doctors or parents sometimes . 877-YOUTHLINE (968-8454)

I am glad also you read the book. Now you should be able to take the course and the test that goes along with it and become a certified gatekeeper and be in a position to help others. Interested?

Best always,


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From: Rebecca
To: Reese Butler
Subject: To Frank, 1-800-suicide,

I am very interested in helping others. I would love the opportunity to share my story and reach out to people in need. I would love to help in any way possible.

-Rebecca


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How do you heal a broken heart?

When your heart is broken,

how can you heal?
How do you heal a broken heart?

I

Know that you can heal a broken heart. Others have healed a broken heart and you can too. It may not be easy, it may not be fast, but healing can happen. This you need to know.

II

Next, you have to be willing to heal. You don't have to know how, you just have to go inside to the deepest depths and say to yourself, "I am willing to heal." Through the pain and sadness, through the grief and shattered feelings, you simply have to acknowledge that you are willing to heal.

III

Understand that healing is a process. It does not happen all at once. There is no guarantee about how long this process will take, it's different for everyone. There are days that are harder and days that are easier. Sometimes you think you're doing fine and suddenly sad feelings sneak up on you again. That's part of the process. Hang in there! The good days will come again and they'll come more and more often.

IV

Time does heal. It may not seem like it when you're in pain, but know that time really does bring healing. Again, there is no guarantee about how long the process will take, but time is one of the elements of healing a broken heart. It's kind of like healing in the body, a cut will also heal with time. You don't put a bandage on a cut and expect to wake up the next morning and the cut is gone. So be patient with yourself, your emotions, and your heart.

V

Be honest with yourself about why you were wounded, why your heart was broken. This is the mental part of the process. Be truthful about this part even though it may not be fun. You don't have to say this out loud to any one. Were you expecting something the other person wasn't able to give you? Lots of broken hearts are when people have expectations of a relationship that the other person can not or doesn't even want to fulfill. If you can really evaluate what went wrong, you can learn about yourself so you can set up a healthier relationship next time. Learn something about yourself from each experience.

VI

Acknowledge the gifts you take from the relationship. I don't mean goodies, I mean the gifts of life experience. Did you see that you have the capacity to love? Did you learn something about boundaries? Did you learn about communication? Did you learn something about how to be with other people? There is something you have to be grateful about, name that.

VII

Be tender with yourself. What does that mean? Be kind to you. Make sure that you think thoughts that are kind (saying you are a jerk or a loser is NOT being kind to you or anyone else and do not belong in your thoughts or vocabulary). Open your heart to yourself the same way you would open your heart to a friend in pain. I find that a lot of people have never learned how to be gentle with themselves. This is a skill worth developing! You'll be a nicer person to other people when you learn how to be good to yourself. This is about balancing your thoughts and emotions.

VIII

Do not rush into another relationship. When you go into a relationship from a place of wholeness you will be wiser in your choice of who to date. If you do not heal, you are likely to make the same mistake over and over again until you learn the lesson. Take the time for yourself so you can have and be the best for yourself. This is a great time to get into something so you can express yourself creatively. Maybe writing, music, art, knitting, sports, what ever feels creative and fulfilling to you.

IX

You do not have to do this alone. You can talk with a friend or a counselor. Ask for help when you need help. No one is expected to do life alone. If you don't feel like you have someone to talk things through with, don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself, ask around. Take care of yourself enough to ask for help when you need help. There are some wonderful people with open hearts who would be honored to be your friend or counselor.

X

Time, tenderness, talking it through. Once your heart is broken, you will never be the same. That's okay! All of life builds us and shapes us. Take each experience to deepen the truth of who you are: You are a wonderful, loving person who lights up this world. Take a rest as you heal. Keep shining.

Love,
Aunt Laya

with gratitude to Morguefile.com and bekahboo42 for the beautiful photo