When life is hard

Right now is the darkest time of the year. Our daylight is the shortest (in the northern hemisphere) and night is the longest. Then, on top of that, if you have hard things going on in your life, it's hard to imagine the light at the end of the tunnel.

Today is a love note of encouragement. Life is not meant to be easy. Life is full of meaning and beauty, but easy is not part of the deal. We get that clue first thing. We start all cozy in the womb; as we grow, it starts to get pretty cramped in there until we don't really fit comfortably any more and we get squeezed out! It's not easy. Then, taking that first breath of air is a shocker too. We don't remember how hard all of that was. But it was hard. Okay, it's hard work to get born, and it's hard work to get through school, and it's hard work when we fall on our face, and it's hard, really hard, when we face loss in our lives.

Sometimes the best thing is to sit quietly, either by yourself or with someone who loves you, and just BE. You don't have to fix anything or each other, just be. Regenerate, recreate, grieve, rest, what ever you need to do. Your energy will move in cycles, just like the waves of the ocean moves with the tides.

Even when you are not actively "out in the world" doing things, being you and growing into yourself is enough.

Your soul is a flame that lights up the world. Really.

One of my favorite images of growing is of a crab. When that little shell fish needs to grow, it has to shed its hard protective shell and become very vulnerable. It will usually go and take refuge in some rocks until it grows a new, bigger shell to step out into the world once again.

If you're feeling vulnerable and tender, it's way okay to retreat for a time and take good care of you. If you need cyber {{{{{hugs}}}}} you've come to the right place because I have an unlimited supply of time-released {{{{{hugs}}}}} and you're welcome to take all you like.

With love and of course {{{{{hugs}}}}},
Aunt Laya

Teen read contest! Check it out...

TeensReadToo.com is Proud To Present....

"31 Days of Giving"

A Holiday Spectacular Sweepstakes Event

Of course you'll find a copy of "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way" as one of the prizes but you'll also find a "sneak preview" copy of the audio book among the many, many prizes being offered.

Be sure to read the contest rules.

Click here: http://www.teensreadtoo.com

Let me know if you win!

Love,

Aunt Laya

You've got the power!

What would you do if you were 100% responsible for your own life? What would you do differently? What would you do more of and what would you let go of? You can ask someone to coach you, read books, learn from other people's experiences, but the bottom line is that you get to create your life! Isn't that amazing? You've got the power!

"The best years of your life are the ones

in which you decide your problems are your own.

You do not blame them on your mother,

the ecology, or the president.

You realize that you control your own destiny."

--Albert Ellis

Love,

Aunt Laya

photo credit: Jane M Sawyer http://morguefile.com/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile
Thank you!

Audio book in the works!

Are you a teen (or do you know one) who'd like to read or listen to this book --and get a signed copy as a gift-- and write a review? Please contact me through my website:

www.AuntLaya.com

Blessings,

Aunt Laya

Boundaries

Are you holding boundaries that work for you? Are people overstepping their boundaries with you? Are you overstepping other people's boundaries?

It's okay to push past where you feel comfortable when you're growing, when you will get positive results for yourself or a greater good. But some things are really clear and I'm here to tell you that when you need to say NO, gather yourself up--even if you don't think you can--and say NO where it needs to be said.

Pay attention to that inner voice that lives inside of you. If you’re saying “no” on the inside, say “no” on the outside.

Say “yes” to yourself and what you know is right for you. If you're not sure if it's right to say "no" or not, ASK someone who is trustworthy.

You can do it!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Do you feel helpless?

When you feel helpless and you feel like crying, that is a time to be very tender with yourself. Sometimes it's a time to be alone, and sometimes it's a time to reach out and ask for help.

Sometimes people feel helpless because someone has done something to hurt them, or sometimes we're just too hard on ourselves. Sometimes we're just in a down cycle, sometimes we're sick. There are lots of reasons.

Here's the main thing I want you to know:

You are not alone.
You are not alone.
You are not alone.
You can reach out and ask for help.
You can reach out and ask for a hug.

Ask for a hug.

It's okay to ask for help and hugs.

One thing I do when I feel overwhelmed is to pick just one small thing that I CAN do. Then I do it. Then I pick one more small thing. You can do that too.

Sometimes, you really just need to rest. No one can do it all and we all need to just be gentle sometimes. Be sure you've had enough good food to eat and water to drink. Or maybe you need chocolate? Or... hugs.

Ask for help when you need help.
Take a deep breath; take a step back from what ever is upsetting you. Talk it over with someone you trust, someone you know is wise.

Remember, YOU are the song the morning brings.

Love,
And hugs,
Aunt Laya

Rising, rising, rising

“There are glimpses of heaven to us in every act,

or thought, or word

that raises us

above ourselves.”

–Arthur P. Stanley

There are two main things I teach about life: the way you see things will influence the life you live and the things you do will create your life too. From these two places, action and perception, you create your reality. Of course there are forces at work that are out of our control, but what you choose to do and how you choose to be make the difference.

Sometimes I talk to people who really need to focus on themselves, taking care of themselves, nurturing themselves. Sometimes what people need is to get outside of themselves and reach out to others. Only you know the truth about what you need to do right now in your life. If you’re not sure and not sure how to listen to the insides of you yet, experiment.

Today’s experiment: Do something noble to make your corner of the world a bit brighter. Help yourself, help another, sing, spend time with someone who loves you, pray, dance, learn something new, draw, express gratitude.

Love,

Aunt Laya

Photo by Kevin Connors.
See more amazing photos at http://www.kconnors.com

New moon

It's the new moon today.
This is a time of renewal.
You can turn yourself in any direction you want.

Think about what you want for yourself.
As you think about it, you are creating the possibility.

Be kind to yourself.
Be grateful to yourself for having the wit to start anew.
Be grateful to that which gave you the wit to start anew.

Remember, everything happens in its own right season. If you plant the seeds of what you want today, they will sprout in just the right time.

When you plant, sometimes things take root and make it and sometimes they don't. That's okay, plant anyway.

Keep breathing.

Love,
Aunt Laya

"What if you slept?

And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed?

And what if, in your dream,

you went to heaven

and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower?

And what if, when you awoke,

you had the flower in your hand?

Ah, what then?"

--Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Dear Reader,

Dream beautiful dreams. And know that the most beautiful of them can come from heaven, and that you can awake to find your dreams come true. May you find the strength to name your heart's desire, dream the dream, and pluck the flower that awaits you.

Love,

Aunt Laya

How do you eat an elephant?

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

How do you get your house clean? Put one thing away at a time.

How do you get fit? One step at a time.

How do you get through the hard times? One breath at a time.

How do you accomplish anything that's important to you? You make up your mind and you take small steps each day that will move you in the direction that you want to go.

Pick a dream.
Make a plan.
Take a step.
Evaluate if you're headed in the right direction to reach your goal.
Take another step.

It is simple. Sometimes you have to battle a dragon or two (like your own ego, people's and your own judgements, falling on your face). That's okay, it makes the dream that much sweeter.

You can do this.

I'm working on getting a reprint of my book. I'm also working on an audio book. Sometimes it seems so overwhelming. It always seems to go slower than I think it should. I wrote the book one page at a time. I'm doing the reprint one task at a time. I still have to make dinner and clean the house. I still have to plan the next class I'm teaching. That's all okay because even if it takes me longer that I wanted, it will still get done. (And, I'll let you know when that happens!)

What are you working on? (Can I cheer for you?)

Quote for the day:

You don't have to see the whole staircase,

just take the first step."

--Martin Luther King

Love,
Aunt Laya

Laughing babies

Enjoy and delight!
Love,
Aunt Laya

Quote for the day:

Always do right.

This will gratify some people

and astonish the rest.

--Mark Twain

It is not always easy to do what is right, is it? But you can live with yourself if you know you did your best to do what is right. Here's one of my favorite quotes: "What's right is not always popular, what's popular is not always right."

Do what is right. Then give yourself and someone else a hug to celebrate it!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Can you read Korean?

This is the cover of my book in Korean!


Love,
Aunt Laya

Is the world out to get you?

Is the world out to get you?

Well, yes, in a way. Only maybe instead of thinking the world is out to get you down, how about if you think that the world is out to help you get better?

Think about this possibility:

Maybe all of life is about helping you:

Get going

Get grateful

Get ready

Get rested

Get grown

Get to be your best

Get new ideas

???

Quote for the day: "I've always been the opposite of a paranoid. I operate as if everyone is part of a plot to enhance my well-being." -- Stan Dale

Get the idea? (smile)

Love,
Aunt Laya

What do you feed?

Some of the best advice I heard for a married couple is "The grass is greenest where you water it." It's true about what goes on inside of our own minds and emotions, we will flourish where we put our attention. Want more fear? Feed the fear. Want more joy? Celebrate all you can. Want more beauty? Look for the beauty in all that you see. Want more humor? You know what I mean.

Story for the day:
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between 2 wolves. One is Evil.
It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Blessing for the day:
May you see what is good within you and nourish it with love.

Advice for the day:
When you see the frailty within you, bless it for it is somehow there to serve you too, and then set it free.

Love,
Aunt Laya

The Magic of Music

I’ve heard it said that the Heavenly Realms are made up entirely of music! The ancient Temple of Jerusalem had music, instruments and song. Even in the ever popular Harry Potter series, the most powerful of wizards, Dumbledore, said, “Ah, music! ...A magic beyond all we do here!”

We know for sure that the vibration of music affects us. Watch any movie and the soundtrack is carefully composed so you can feel the emotion of the story. You know when something scary is about to happen (I’ve never see the movie Jaws, but I know the music that played just before the shark appeared). You know when someone has been victorious (Rocky, Superman, Star Wars). You can choose music to feel spiritual, sexual, angry, sad, joyful and more. It can bring you up or bring you down. Music can bring you a feeling of peace. There have been studies done about the effect of music on the mind. Music is, after all, mathematics, isn’t it?

All that said, my suggestion today is to be aware of the music you play as the soundtrack to your life. This is your life, your “movie”. You are the director and leading star in your movie and you have the power to choose the soundtrack of your own reality! Choose with purpose and care, both the lyrics and the beat. How do your musical choices help you or support you with the dance of your life?

Tip of the day: Make a list to describe what you want in life. Do you want to be productive, happy, peaceful, triumphant, adventuresome, energetic, or dramatic? Let your mind and heart go with this one. What’s important to you? What are your dreams? Now ask yourself: What’s the music that will help you with that? Ask someone you respect what they like to listen to for more ideas. Be sure that the music you bring into your life is in harmony with what you want for yourself and the people around you. (pun intended!)

Sometimes you can turn things around in a moment with a song!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Thank you for the clip art used today: http://webclipart.about.com

Loneliness

"I know the night is not the same as the day:

that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started."

--Ernest Hemingway ("A Farewell to Arms")

You are not alone.

There are people who have survived what you are trying to survive and they want to help you through it to the other side. It's okay to ask for help.

Want to know where to turn? You can post here anonymously and I'll help you find resources. Or you can check out the links right here for more. People want you to ask for help. And if you don’t get what you need from one person, ask someone else, keep looking.

It's a funny thing how this world works sometimes. You can be feeling all lonely, and then someone who you don't even know is putting out love, like invisible arms reaching out to hold you. And that love is very real. Your heart can grab onto the love and find a safe place inside to heal.

Do not despair. You found this love note, you can find more. There are links on the right side of this page you can use right now. This, too, shall pass!

"The stars shine the brightest when the night sky is darkest."

You are not alone.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Daily Motivation

"People often say that motivation doesn't last.

Well, neither does bathing -

that's why we recommend it daily."

Zig Ziglar

Author and Speaker