My magic wand’s not working!

Got pain?

There’s not an easy answer for how to deal with pain. It’s one of those times when I wish my magic wand would work the way I want so I could make everything okay. But since it doesn’t maybe I can help you look for ways to navigate the waters of this challenge. This isn’t all there is to it, but it’s a place to start.

First lesson:
If you’re alive, you get pain. It’s simply the way this world is wired. And there’s nothing anyone of us can do to change it.

Second lesson:
It WILL pass! It will pass. This too shall pass. Keep the faith, it really will pass. Keep reading.

Third lesson:
Use pain to grow (grow emotionally, in health, mentally, spiritually). Life’s not easy; it’s not meant to be. You really can use what’s happening as a spring board to move you forward. (You know, like when you jump off a diving board: You take a running start and jump in!) When you are going through something painful in life, it’s a time to tap into your personal power, connect when you need to, make changes where you need to, and heal (which takes time and tender loving care). Our pain teaches us; it has value.

Fourth lesson:
Where you are is not where you’ll wind up. Sometimes life puts you “on trial.” You are tested, molded, sharpened, and polished. When you feel low it might be hard to remember... but things will change and you will grow. You will come through this and life will cycle into joyful times. You don’t have to rush this part. Sometimes you can make a choice about the way you see things to make changes. Sometimes there are things that just need to be grieved. It’s different for every situation, so there’s no formula, but if you give yourself the time and set up the support you need for any situation, things will change for you.

Fifth lesson:
Take care of yourself. Love yourself enough to nurture yourself and accept the love that the people who care about you have to give. Healing is being in touch with the place inside that hurts and allowing love and comfort in to that place.

***
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about a situation that’s causing you pain—it might all be outside of you. On the other hand, most of the time there are things you can do about the way you deal with the situation, even if they seem small at first. One thing is to change the way you think about things. When you change the way you think about things, it changes the way you feel about things. Sometimes you can DO something different to change the way you feel or think (sometimes called “fake it ‘til you make it”). And you can also change what you DO about any situation. You can change your attitude and if need be, you can change your address. Or you can grieve if you need to grieve. It depends on the kind of pain and the source of it. You have to decide what fits for you and when.

***
Sometimes, it’s more about how you are with yourself than what you do. No matter what, be kind to yourself (and be kind to others). Ask for help when you need to. It’s okay to ask for help.

Remember, you are not alone.

Love,
Aunt Laya