Thank You

Did you get a card in the mail with a love note or a check? Who carried it to you? Who drove it and got it ready for the person who delivered it? Who made the card? Who brought the card to the store so it could be purchased and sent to you? Who designed the card? Who made the pen used to address the card?

Get what I mean? Behind every thing you enjoy, big or small, many, many hands were involved in making that thing happen.

Take a minute to think about this. Like my posts? Who at blogger set up this free service and made it simple enough for even me to post? :-) Who programed these computers? Who designed the computer and who made the parts to put it together? Who made the car that the person who sold the computer used to get to work? Who is feeding all these people, growing vegetables and fruit and grains? (not to mention the food that you eat!)

We are none of us alone in this world, we are all taking care of each other in small and big ways. Don't forget to take a minute to thank the bus driver that gets you safely where you're going. Don't forget to thank the guy you see picking up trash for keeping the neighborhood clean.

Say thank you with a smile, with a wink, with a handshake or a hug. Say thank you with a flower or a note. But do say it, it's a great lift to be thankful (even after Thanksgiving!)

Then turn it in on yourself. Notice what you like about you and be grateful for all you are and all you can do. Be grateful for the hidden potential that you have yet to discover about yourself.

I'm grateful for you, for reading these notes, for the emails you send, and for inspiring me to keep on doing what I do, writing and talking.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Pain is a Gift!

What?!? Pain is a gift? Yes! You wouldn't want to do life without it. Why?

What if people didn't feel the burn of a hot pan? We'd get so damaged we couldn't function. When we feel the burn of something hot, we let go... so we don't get hurt more!!! Get it?

When you feel pain, it's a signal for change.

Ask yourself:
What is this pain trying to tell or teach me?
What can I do to make a change that will heal?
Do I need to change my thoughts?
Do I need to change my environment?
Do I need to change my actions?
Do I need to change my perceptions?

Growing pains happen. Use them to make you stronger, kinder, wiser, healthier.

Use everything to your advantage!
Love,
Aunt Laya

Thanks again to Morguefile.com and also fattymattybrewing for the great photo

Celebrate!

OK, there is a lot about the hard times that is being talked about. Hard times with money, work, terrorism, and they are all real issues that need to be addressed. But that doesn't mean that we can't have good times too. So how do you create a good time? Declare it. Call some friends or sit with family and make a party to celebrate life, to celebrate friendship, to celebrate what you DO have. You can even make a little celebration all by yourself. If you are feeling alone, then there is someone else who is alone and just waiting for your call and invitation. (Be brave and make the call! Or make three calls until you have the company you want.)

You can give your celebration a theme: birthday, un-birthday, Christmas, Hanuka, Kwanzaa, Solstice, or summer in December and make a picnic on the floor in your living room. Get a few props: candles, music, yummy treats, or art supplies. Get creative.

Shake yourself up. Inspire yourself. Give yourself a lift and maybe life someone else's spirits along the way. Last week I went to the mall and had some fun giving out chocolates to some nice people who helped me. Look for things to celebrate and you'll find them.

I celebrate you!
Love,
Aunt Laya

Thank you to Morguefile.com and Clarita for the great photo

Try Again

Challenges

"Good timber does not grow with ease.
The stronger the wind, the stronger the trees."

I don't know who first said this but it teaches us in another way that the hard times in life make us stronger. Challenges shape us to be better.

Stay strong!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Thanks to Allen Conant and morguefile.com for the great photo!

Suicide and Depression

Lots and lots of people care about you. Friends seen and unseen.
Never despair! Hang on to hope. Call the Hopeline if you need to.
Love, Aunt Laya

Thanks for the great video PostSecret!

Help for Teens to Graduate High School

If you need a boost in getting through school...
If you can give a boost in helping someone else get through school...

http://www.boostup.org/

is a place to go online to get or give a boost up!

It's a really great idea, so go support someone or ask for support right now.

It's easy and simple: Just click here if you haven't already.

Cheers!
Aunt Laya

Overcoming Fear and Regret

If I could give my previous post about fear a soundtrack, this would be it.

Consider this post a kind of "love note" from me to you.
May you walk in strength and sweetness and joy.
Keep growing!
Love,
Aunt Laya

Teens, Tweens, Parents, Teachers:

Teens, Tweens, Parents, and Teachers:

I just got an email with this announcement.

Teens and tweens and younger kids deserve to be safer so check it out and stay safe.

Love,

Aunt Laya

Introducing the NetSmartz
Internet Safety 2009 Presentations!

NetSmartz® Workshop has been hard at work updating our Internet Safety Presentations. The new PowerPoint presentations for parents and communities, tweens, and teens are now available for you to download. They incorporate current statistics, our newest videos, and vibrant graphics!

NetSmartz free, multimedia Internet safety presentations are tailored for specific audiences - parents and communities, tweens, teens, and younger children. Our innovative presentations utilize statistics, online resources, videos, and expert tips to educate, engage, and empower children and adults to be safer on- and offline.

Go to http://www.NetSmartz.org/Presentations to download the NetSmartz Internet Safety 2009 Presentations today!

Educate Parents & Communities

This 60-minute PowerPoint for parents with children ages 5-17 and communities includes

Facts of online risks
Statistics, videos, and other resources
Tips for keeping children safer online

Engage Tweens & Teens

Two 45-minute PowerPoint presentations for tweens and teens contain

Animated and documentary-style videos
Candid, thought-provoking discussions
Practical advice and free resources

Empower Younger Children

These 30-minute interactive Primary and Intermediate presentations include

Age-appropriate explanations of online risks
Easy-to-remember online safety rules
Interactive, animated lessons led by Clicky, Nettie, and Webster

Go to http://www.NetSmartz.org/Presentations to download the NetSmartz Internet Safety 2009 Presentations today!

Relationship Help

This is one of the best videos I've seen in a long time.
I hope you are as inspired as I am by this one.


Love,
Aunt Laya

Overcoming Fear

Once I was working on a movie set with a famous actress/model. Just before the camera started rolling, she started to scream and stomp about. Everyone on the set thought she had lost her mind. As suddenly as she started, she stopped and looked around smiling. She explained that she learned that if some place inside she felt foolish about a scene, she should really "act" foolish so that the scene would feel normal to her.

What ever the reasons are we sometimes give in to fear of going for our dreams. I don't think it's always important to know why. It's OK to skip the why and simply get to the how.

There are different kinds of fear.

• Fear that is good because it can keep you safe.
  
• Irrational fear--fear that has no basis in reality and actually interferes with daily life.
• Fear that holds you back from living your dreams.

Sometimes it's good to be afraid. We're supposed to be afraid to run in front of a speeding train. It's wise to wait until the train is past before we cross the tracks. It's good for a woman to have some fear about walking alone in a parking lot at night. Bad things happen too often and it's wise to ask a man (or for a man to offer) to walk a woman to her car at night. It's good to be afraid of going to jail. It may be better to do what's right just because it's right, but it's also good to understand that some actions have a negative consequence and to be afraid of that is healthy.

Sometimes fear is debilitating. Fear can be so deep and wide that the person who is feeling it can not leave their home. This is not healthy fear. It is a kind of fear that can be treated though help may be needed. Some people are so afraid of flying that they will not leave their home town. That's not a big deal if it's not stopping the person from his normal life. It's sad if he has can not go to the award presentation for his good work because of his fear.

Then there is the kind of fear that doesn't look like such a big deal. I mean, you're living your life just fine, right? Yet, there are fears that stand in the way of doing, being, or accomplishing something that would make your heart sing.

This is fear that you can conquer!

The power of imagination

The truth is, fear is mostly imagined. One of my many favorite quotes is by Mark Twain:

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles,
but most of them never happened." ~Mark Twain

Courageous people are not those without fear, they move in spite of their fear.

You know this is true. Think about something you were very fearful about that in the end worked out just fine. You already have life experience with this, but maybe you don't give yourself credit. Were you afraid the first day at a new job, but now you love it? Were you afraid the first day of a new school, but you made friends and got through it? Did you remember the first time you got on a bus or train or airplane alone?

Have you ever tried to do something and the thing failed? Maybe you felt bad for a time, but then if you think about it, don't you feel great that you gave it a try? Did you learn something? Did you turn your learning into a stepping stone?

Think about the times when you have accomplished the thing you felt fearful about. Remember and hold onto the feeling of accomplishment when you succeeded. Imagine that same great feeling right now and in the future.

You can do this.
Email me your wins, I love hearing from you.

Love,
Aunt Laya

with gratitude to FlyingPete and morguefile.com for the amazing photo!

Deer-in-the-Headlights Syndrome

Ever have something important to do and you just froze, couldn't move, couldn't make a choice? Have an important call to make or important decision and you just didn't do it?

That is deer-in-the-headlights syndrome or DITHS.

"Deer in the headlights" is when a deer is in the road at night and a car is coming at it--straight at it--and it just stares into the headlights and doesn't move out of the way. The results of being frozen for the poor deer can be fatal. The results for the oncoming car can also be traumatic.

The point here is there may really be some intense consequences when you don't move and you need to.

One of the simplest techniques for overcoming DITHS is to communicate!! It is perfectly acceptable to say, "I need some time to think about this" or "I can't make a decision so fast, let me get back to you."

When you need to take action but you just don't know what to do, it is really OK to ask for help. You could ask a friend to help or support you accomplish something important. You can ask a professional to help (it's how they make their living and they do that because they most likely actually enjoy helping!). If it's about an important decision, ask someone who's life experience and opinion you trust to talk it through with you.

Now here's something else to consider. Even if you've experienced a DITHS moment and had a significant loss or pain from it, life is not over, you can grow from this and move forward anyway. You know the old saying, when one door closes, another one opens. It's true. Only thing is, if you don't pay attention, all those missed opportunities can cost you in time or money or relationships.

This one is about waking up and stepping up. It's about taking action even though you might feel afraid and knowing it will all be OK. It's about taking responsibility for yourself and it's very empowering.

You can do this, small bits at a time are great.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Thanks to mouguefile.com and somadjinn for the beautiful photo!

Need Some Inspiration?

When you feel like things are hard, have a look at this young man and his dad for some inspiration.



Thanks for stopping by.

Love,
Aunt Laya

"Take Wing"

"Take Wing" is my newest project. After a long time of talking about an ezine, it's now a reality. Ezine stands for "electronic magazine"--like a newsletter that shows up with your email. What I do is short and sweet. Although it's still in process it will pretty much come your in-box one or two times a month with more inspiration for you.

It's easy to sign up. Just go to the sign up page at my website, fill in the form, and you're in! Never worry about spam because I will never sell your email address. You can subscribe simply and unsubscribe with a click when ever you want.

Simple. See ya there!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Formula for a Fresh Start

Part I

Forgiveness. You can say something like: "I forgive myself for the mistakes I've made."

Part II

Kindness. Know that you are lovable, even if you don't feel like it. Treat yourself the way you would treat a small child or friend. Don't beat yourself up for making a mistake. Mistakes are how we learn and grow.

Part III

Learn from your mistakes. No one is perfect, so don't be down on yourself for being human. When you goof up, make sure you take the lesson with you. (See how in the photo the "old stuff" nourishes and even protects the growth of the new?)

Part IV

Ask for help if you need help.

Part V

Keep growing and looking for the positive.

Ask yourself these questions:

What am I grateful for? If it's hard to come up with something, start with the basics, breathing, breakfast, friendship, swimming, ice cream... you get the idea.

Ask yourself each evening:
What was the best part of my day?
What do I look forward to tomorrow?

*Give yourself a hug,
give someone else a hug,
take a deep breath,
do a kindness for someone else
(get out of your self).*

You can do this! :-)

Love,
Aunt Laya

Thanks to xpistwv and morguefile.com for the wonderful photo.

Ouch! The Sting of Mean Words

Recently someone wrote something pretty mean about me on the internet. It wasn't personal, the guy doesn't even know me. It did sting at first when I read it. And then it took a while for the sting to disappear, but before long the sting did disappear. In it's place I found myself stronger and more confident!

When I was a student of martial arts, I spent some time working out one on one with a someone who was a black belt. He taught me that when you're sparring, don't even get mad if someone gets in a good hit. Anger gets you out of balance and you'll never fight well if you get emotionally out of balance with anger. I learned that if someone "gets you" it is an opportunity to see where you are "open." In a way, they are doing you a favor by showing you where you need to improve! He taught me to think of it as a game of tag. If you are tagged, that's where you can improve your moves or your game--or your life perspective!

Emotionally, I use this lesson the same way. When I felt the sting of hurtful words, I got to see where I had an opportunity to grow. Now I think about those same words and don't feel sad or bad at all. I see how the guy who wrote them revealed a puny part of himself and nothing more. How sad for him.

Some friends were talking to me yesterday about the Pixar animated movie "Ratatouille." They gave me a whole talk about how it's not really a kids' movie, but a deep film! (I'll need to watch it again from that perspective!) The point they made, a point well taken, was that even the the best review by a critic is still worth less than the actual act of being creative! Creative or Critical? How easy it is to be critical, what an investment to be creative.

So next time someone criticizes you, check your perspective. If it is someone you respect, you may have something to learn. If it is from someone who is simply blowing hot air, you can let it go. Know that you can rise above. And when you do rise, you'll be stronger and even more confident.

Keep shining!
Love,
Aunt Laya

A great resource for help.

http://www.recoveryourlife.com

You'll find a lot of information, support, articles, and even some fun stuff.

These are the forum categories you'll find in the advice section there:

Self Harm

Suicide

Eating Disorders

Mental Health

Abuse and Bullying

Drugs and Alcohol

First Aid Advice and Information

You are not alone no matter what is happening.
You can ask for help and it is OK to ask for help.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Get Out of Your Own Way!!!

What does that mean?

Sometimes you have a desire or a goal but you feel stuck, right? There are lots of things you can do to move yourself in the direction of your dreams or goals or desires, but if your mindset-- your way of thinking about things--isn't clear, you might be sabotaging yourself!!!

One major example is the balance of a person's ego. Now there is a lot said about people who have a big ego, they only seem to think about (and look after and talk about) themselves all the time. They are not so great to be around. The other side of the coin is when someone feels badly about themselves. Guess what? They also have an out of balance ego. They are also only thinking about themselves!!! Either way is out of balance.

What can you do about it?

I'm going to introduce you to a new form of therapy that I've created. It's called "Get Over It."

"Whaaaa... they make fun of me."
Get over it!

"I'm not pretty enough."
Get Over It.

I never get the good stuff.
Get Over It.

Listen, sometimes crying is what people need. And when you need to cry, let it flow--and then LET IT GO.

Do you hear me?

But it's not fair.
Get Over It.

Do you want to spend your time whining? Or would you rather spend your time in JOY? I highly recommend joy when ever appropriate. How can you find your way to more joy? Start with the basics. Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools to joy and contentment. If you know me at all, you know I'm all about empowerment.

So, get out of your own way, stop whining, and step into your power.
Blink by blink, one minute at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one year at a time.

You CAN do this!

Love,
Aunt Laya