The Magic of Music

I’ve heard it said that the Heavenly Realms are made up entirely of music! The ancient Temple of Jerusalem had music, instruments and song. Even in the ever popular Harry Potter series, the most powerful of wizards, Dumbledore, said, “Ah, music! ...A magic beyond all we do here!”

We know for sure that the vibration of music affects us. Watch any movie and the soundtrack is carefully composed so you can feel the emotion of the story. You know when something scary is about to happen (I’ve never see the movie Jaws, but I know the music that played just before the shark appeared). You know when someone has been victorious (Rocky, Superman, Star Wars). You can choose music to feel spiritual, sexual, angry, sad, joyful and more. It can bring you up or bring you down. Music can bring you a feeling of peace. There have been studies done about the effect of music on the mind. Music is, after all, mathematics, isn’t it?

All that said, my suggestion today is to be aware of the music you play as the soundtrack to your life. This is your life, your “movie”. You are the director and leading star in your movie and you have the power to choose the soundtrack of your own reality! Choose with purpose and care, both the lyrics and the beat. How do your musical choices help you or support you with the dance of your life?

Tip of the day: Make a list to describe what you want in life. Do you want to be productive, happy, peaceful, triumphant, adventuresome, energetic, or dramatic? Let your mind and heart go with this one. What’s important to you? What are your dreams? Now ask yourself: What’s the music that will help you with that? Ask someone you respect what they like to listen to for more ideas. Be sure that the music you bring into your life is in harmony with what you want for yourself and the people around you. (pun intended!)

Sometimes you can turn things around in a moment with a song!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Thank you for the clip art used today: http://webclipart.about.com

Loneliness

"I know the night is not the same as the day:

that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started."

--Ernest Hemingway ("A Farewell to Arms")

You are not alone.

There are people who have survived what you are trying to survive and they want to help you through it to the other side. It's okay to ask for help.

Want to know where to turn? You can post here anonymously and I'll help you find resources. Or you can check out the links right here for more. People want you to ask for help. And if you don’t get what you need from one person, ask someone else, keep looking.

It's a funny thing how this world works sometimes. You can be feeling all lonely, and then someone who you don't even know is putting out love, like invisible arms reaching out to hold you. And that love is very real. Your heart can grab onto the love and find a safe place inside to heal.

Do not despair. You found this love note, you can find more. There are links on the right side of this page you can use right now. This, too, shall pass!

"The stars shine the brightest when the night sky is darkest."

You are not alone.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Daily Motivation

"People often say that motivation doesn't last.

Well, neither does bathing -

that's why we recommend it daily."

Zig Ziglar

Author and Speaker

Parents: Read this!

Here is something basic all parents should know. This is not a secret, but it's not talked about enough. All kids need to know how loved and special they are (your kids, grandkids, friends nieces, nephews, and parents too).

Tell your kids you love them.
Tell them they are wonderful, talented, smart, holy, and special.
Tell your kids you're glad they are your kids.
Tell your daughters that they are beautiful inside and out!

Here's another must do for parents:
No matter how busy you are in your life, no matter what else is going on:

Spend time with your kids. I repeat: Spend time with your kids.

Take walks with the dog. Go fishing. Bake together. Do volunteer work together. Read a book out loud together. BE together. One of my favorite parenting quotes is: “Kids spell love t-i-m-e.”

All kids want to hear how much their parents love and admire them. Even adult kids want to hear it from their parents. We never tire of the of love and acknowledgement we can get from our parents.

This is simple. You might need to let go of something, like playing that computer game for half an hour, miss an hour of TV, or don't take that phone call after school or at bedtime.

Dads: did you know that if you can do this one successfully with your daughter, that you'll save her mountains of heartache and increase her chances of finding a good man?

This is a big deal folks. Spend time with your kids. Let them know they are loved. Let them know you like them. Let them know you see how gifted they are. (All children are gifted in one way or another. This is truth.)

Now, what if you didn't get that as a kid or teen? Give it to your kid anyway and let it speak to the inside heart of you.

You can do this. Feel free to email this post. It is an essential piece to raising a happy, healthy, confident child who is secure in the knowledge that he or she is loved. And everybody deserves to know how very loved they are.

Tip of the week: Make a sign similar to the one in the photo and put it where you and your kids can see it every day. Pick any quote or thought that is meaningful to you. Have fun with the decorations or let your kids decorate it. This is not just for young kids; this is for teens and grownups too. It puts nourishing thoughts into your head.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Rock your world

How can you rock your world? Helping someone else is a way to begin. It doesn't even have to be big.
*Smile at someone who could use a smile. A smile is a bigger deal that a lot of people give it credit for. A smile says, I notice you, you matter.
*Say something kind. Be real, but say it out loud. It can be as simple as "Hope your day is great," or even just plain, "Good morning" can make someone feel noticed.
*Asking a cashier, "How are you?" will often get a look of surprise. I know we don't have time to hear a whole lot, but knowing that someone cares enough to ask and listen to what ever answer they have to give can be so kind.

Want to up the stakes? How about cooking a meal for someone who needs the help, or giving them a gift of a pizza. Ever think about taking care of some kids to give a mom a little time off for errands or a bath? Have you read the post on this blog about "love notes"? Read it and then go ahead and write someone you care for a love note.

Have you ever been a volunteer? Talk about life changing. I'd love to hear your story about volunteering and what you got out of it.

You can't give without receiving. Giving grows you. Giving rocks the world.

Guess what? Asking for help is important too. Sometimes giving will lift you up, but sometimes it's in the receiving that you can be lifted. It's okay to ask, and it's really okay to receive.

So, where do you fit in all this today? Do you have something to give? Are you the one in need? It's not always black and white. You can give and receive all in the same day or even the same moment.

Participate in life with the intention to do good things; it will rock your world.
And when you rock your world, it ripples out in ways we can not even imagine. It may even rock the heavens.

Love,
Aunt Laya

What are you reading this summer?

Well, obviously, if you haven't read my book, I recommend you check it out at my website:
www.AuntLaya.com or you can just go get it at Amazon. This link will take you there: http://tinyurl.com/92up5

Now, looking for variety? Looking for ideas? Check out www.TeensReadToo.com There are all kinds of recommendations--and contests for free books too! (Well, wouldn't ya know it, MY book is in the contest too! Now, what a coincidence :-) )

I hope your summer is enlightening, inspiring, entertaining, and productive too. Find a cool place to take some time for yourself and read a good book.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Taking a hold on your home

Everything that happens in our lives is a symbol for what's happening on the inside of us. So like, if your house is a mess, could it be that you feel like a mess on the inside? Sometimes it doesn't even matter if you figure out the "why" part of things but just dive into taking action in baby steps.

There are a lot of people who don't have a handle on their homes. They live in clutter or messes and they feel helpless. Sometimes people are so trapped in perfectionism that they feel like if they can't get it right, then they don't even start. There are others who mostly have it together but could use some support.

Here is one of the best discoveries I've found on the Internet:
www.FlyLady.net

Sign up to get Flylady's emails. Don't be overwhelmed with them, she sends out a lot. What ever you don't read, don't save for later, just delete, delete. Sometimes just reading the headlines will change your day. Follow the baby steps there one at a time. Take your time, just take action!

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I don't look at a whole project, I look at what's the next little thing I can do.

I wrote my book after I heard a tape with motivational master Zig Ziglar say that her wrote a book by writing a page and a quarter a day! I thought, “I can do that!” And I did--a page a day. Then, in a way, the momentum of writing took on a life of its own.

If you can create success in one area of life, you can do it in another. One little bit at a time. And take good care of yourself along the way. You are SO worth it.

Okay folks, if you've been here before then you have a clue about me so what I'm going to say now won't surprise you. I also believe that you can change the world one smile at a time, one kind word at a time.

Let your heart and soul shine in the way that only you can!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Jinx, private jinx!

What rules do you play by? Depends on the game, right? You know, if you want to play a game with other people, you all have to agree on the same rules to make the game work. Thing is, if someone is "playing games" in a way that is not so nice, guess what? You don't have to play!

My kids sometimes try to jinx me. Just in case you don't know, that's when two people say the same thing at the same time. One person says "jinx" and the other person can not speak until his name is said. At my house we just learned that there can also be a private jinx. That's when only the person who jinxed you can say your name to break the jinx. Guess what? I don't play! So the jinx doesn't work on me.

Next time someone is playing with you in a way that you don't like, walk away. You don't have to play.

When you do play, may you be blessed with times of laughter and sweet times with people you love and enjoy.

Love,
Aunt Laya

When life doesn’t work the way you want…

When life doesn’t work the way you want…

Guess what? Your world reflects exactly what you need to GROW. It’s the Master Plan. Are people too crabby around you? Maybe you needed a reminder to be nicer. Or maybe you need to be able to set boundaries. Or, could it be that you need to change where you go or the people you hang out with? Maybe you’re tired of me saying this already but here goes: There’s no one right answer.

Life is a puzzle, and it’s up to you to put the pieces of YOUR puzzle together. Sometimes other people can help you out with suggestions that are right on and work for you. Ultimately though, it’s up to you to make the pieces of the puzzle fit together. Guess what else? Sometimes there is more than one kind of puzzle. Lots of times there is more than one way to solve a puzzle. I play a game on the internet called Quiddler (www.setgame.com). When I check the previous day’s puzzle solution, it isn’t usually the way I solved it—if I solved it at all! Sometimes I play Spider Solitaire on the computer. If I can’t finish a game, I start it over and play the same set of cards differently. Most of the time, I can win by doing things differently. If I am researching something online and don’t get the answer I want, I put different key words into my browser until I find the answer I’m looking for.

Which reminds me: The definition of “insanity” is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. If something in your life isn’t working, try doing things differently.

Exercise for the day: Go to one of my favorite game sites and play a game that makes your brain stretch in new ways. www.SetGame.com has a game called “Set” (plus others) and www.Blokus.com has a game called, well, Blokus. Then have a look at some place in your life that you’d like different results and try something different.

Come visit me again! I have more to say on this another time.
Love,
Aunt Laya

My magic wand’s not working!

Got pain?

There’s not an easy answer for how to deal with pain. It’s one of those times when I wish my magic wand would work the way I want so I could make everything okay. But since it doesn’t maybe I can help you look for ways to navigate the waters of this challenge. This isn’t all there is to it, but it’s a place to start.

First lesson:
If you’re alive, you get pain. It’s simply the way this world is wired. And there’s nothing anyone of us can do to change it.

Second lesson:
It WILL pass! It will pass. This too shall pass. Keep the faith, it really will pass. Keep reading.

Third lesson:
Use pain to grow (grow emotionally, in health, mentally, spiritually). Life’s not easy; it’s not meant to be. You really can use what’s happening as a spring board to move you forward. (You know, like when you jump off a diving board: You take a running start and jump in!) When you are going through something painful in life, it’s a time to tap into your personal power, connect when you need to, make changes where you need to, and heal (which takes time and tender loving care). Our pain teaches us; it has value.

Fourth lesson:
Where you are is not where you’ll wind up. Sometimes life puts you “on trial.” You are tested, molded, sharpened, and polished. When you feel low it might be hard to remember... but things will change and you will grow. You will come through this and life will cycle into joyful times. You don’t have to rush this part. Sometimes you can make a choice about the way you see things to make changes. Sometimes there are things that just need to be grieved. It’s different for every situation, so there’s no formula, but if you give yourself the time and set up the support you need for any situation, things will change for you.

Fifth lesson:
Take care of yourself. Love yourself enough to nurture yourself and accept the love that the people who care about you have to give. Healing is being in touch with the place inside that hurts and allowing love and comfort in to that place.

***
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about a situation that’s causing you pain—it might all be outside of you. On the other hand, most of the time there are things you can do about the way you deal with the situation, even if they seem small at first. One thing is to change the way you think about things. When you change the way you think about things, it changes the way you feel about things. Sometimes you can DO something different to change the way you feel or think (sometimes called “fake it ‘til you make it”). And you can also change what you DO about any situation. You can change your attitude and if need be, you can change your address. Or you can grieve if you need to grieve. It depends on the kind of pain and the source of it. You have to decide what fits for you and when.

***
Sometimes, it’s more about how you are with yourself than what you do. No matter what, be kind to yourself (and be kind to others). Ask for help when you need to. It’s okay to ask for help.

Remember, you are not alone.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Believe in yourself!

"You are a good person, that is the truth about you. It's good to remember that good people make mistakes. When you find you have made a mistake, do what you can to correct, repair, or heal and go on from there. You are not your mistakes. you are something wonderful, a masterpiece of the Creator." --Laya Saul

(From "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way--What I Wish Someone Had Told Me")

Love,
Aunt Laya

Write a "love note"

Short simple activity for the day (what ever day you're reading this!): Love notes are one of my favorite things to send out into the world. It only takes a minute (we're talking note here, not a long letter). You can write a love note to anyone: parents, children, grandparents, friends, friends you've been out of touch with for a while, someone going through a hard time, someone who did you a favor...

A love note doesn't have to be mushy. It can even be a simple thank you note to someone that helped you out or touched you in some way.

Love notes in five easy steps:
1. Get a paper
2. Get a pen or pencil
3. Focus your heart's intention
4. Write something simple (see examples below)
5. Give it away to the person you wrote it for

Examples of what you can write:

• I love you so much
• I really appreciate having you in my life
• You're such a great friend
• I'm so proud of you
• You're doing great
• Here's a little hug for you, with love
• Thank you for being you
• You're the best

You get the idea. If you're still stuck, let me know.
You can do this.
On your mark...
Get set...
GO!
Love,
Aunt Laya
P.S. An unexpected piece of candy with a kind word can work too.

Gossip anyone?

Who hasn't been stung by the sharp words of another? Worse than that, who hasn't said words that pierce the heart of another? How you talk, or do not talk, about others impacts every relationship you have, even your relationship with yourself.

When you gossip, you say more about yourself than you do about anyone else!

If I could only pass on one tip to improve people's lives, this might just be the one. Gossip is not a fun way to pass the time. It is not kind. It is not harmless.

• When you talk about someone else you can harm them. Also, you do not allow for the growth and improvement of the person being talked about.
  
• You hurt yourself and the listener too. Gossip is an ugly thing.
  
• Understand that if something about another person is true, it is still gossip. Even if you would say it to the person directly, it is still gossip.

Listening to gossip is the other side of the coin and is damaging too. (tips on avoiding listening to gossip to come…)

Quote for the day: "Believe nothing against another but on good authority; nor report what may hurt another, unless it be a greater hurt to conceal it." --William Penn

Experiment: Pick one person in your life, a parent, sibling, spouse, child, friend, boss, co-worker or fellow student, and stop talking about or listening to gossip about that person. To make this really work, stick with this over time. How does your relationship change? How do your feelings about yourself change? This is not an easy experiment but it will change your world in unimaginable ways. It may be one of the greatest gifts you give yourself.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Exerpts from today's post come from the book "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way" reprinted by permission of the author, me! Also, with gratitude for the use of this photo to my friend Mario at Soap Vision, where they have the coolest soaps ever. http://www.soapvision.com

What’s the difference?

Are you into world peace? How can you make a difference? Start in on your own doorstep.

Exercise for the day: When you are with someone who usually makes you feel impatient, be patient. (Keep breathing.)

Be patient with yourself too.

Love,
Aunt Laya

You ARE what you DO!

There is a story of a king who longed to marry a very beautiful and beloved princess. His advisors told him she'd never have him; he was far too ruthless and cunning. Ah, but he had a plan. He put on a mask that could fool the princess and he acted wise and compassionate, generous and kind--a way that would cause the princess to love and marry the king. And so she did.

After years of marriage to the princess, one of the king's old advisors threatened the king that he would reveal the truth about him unless he paid a handsome sum of riches. The king would not stand for being blackmailed, so he decided to tell his wife, the queen, the truth. Before he went to her, he took off the mask. Lo, there was no difference between the façade and what lay beneath! He had become that which he pretended to be all those years.

Question: What are the character traits that you want for yourself?

Act as if and it will be so!

Love,
Aunt Laya

Check out the Truth

THE TRUTH

because you matter!

If you want to have a little fun go see
www.ShardsOGlass.com

If you want to know the truth go to
www.TheTruth.com

Be well.

Love,

Aunt Laya

Ever had a meltdown?!

MELTDOWN

MELTDOWN
MELTDown
meltdown
meltdown

meltdown

.....

...

..

.

Ever have one of these? Yes? You must be a normal person then. It's a big drag to get to that place. One of the ways you can prevent it is by shifting your expectations. Another way you can help yourself is to ASK FOR HELP. It's okay to ask for help, it really is. Another way is to let go of your idea of how something should go. Can you take yourself a "time out?" Can you add something to make the scene funny for you?

Remember in the Harry Potter story when the students were taught to take the thing that's the scariest for them and make it funny? Guess what? That's a technique in a form of therapy called NLP and it really works.

Put that in your "toolbox" of coping skills and take it out when ever you need it.

Love,
Aunt Laya

Who or what do you blame?

The traffic? Your mother? Your age? Your school? The president? The weather? The town you live in? Your religion? God?

If you didn't blame anyone else, how would you do your life differently?

What's one small thing you can do that will help you be who you want to be? Or one small thing that will help you realize a dream?

It's all in your hands.

Love,
Aunt Laya